The Rush Hour Triathlon

Five days a week, I take the train to and from work. And five days a week, I see people killing themselves to either get a seat in the train or get off the train and up the stairs or elevators. The funny thing about it all is, that I just love to stand back and look at how fucking ridiculous they look. I keep asking myself, how would these people behave in Armageddon? These people are just going to be pushing kids, women, the elderly and handicap people out of their way in order to save themselves. It’s just incredible how some humans behave when put in the rush hour triathlon.

Me in the other hand, I just like to stand back and look at human behavior at its best. I mean don’t get me wrong, I understand that some people might be late getting somewhere. But why don’t they do like me… I leave FUCKING early! I understand that I live in New York City and everything moves fast, but come on! Pushing people out of their way, just to get a fucking seat in the train? The way that I look at it is like this, there’s always a train behind that one. Unless for some weird and unexplained reason, The New York City MTA runs out of trains! Whatever the reason behind the rush is, I refuse to join the crazy people in their quest to get a seat in the train or to get to wherever they are going in a rush. My solution to the rush triathlon problem is… I leave early. Hey look! If you are late, you are late. It doesn’t matter if you run over the lady with the cane or the little kid and his pregnant mother. As a matter of fact, I’m not going to break a leg or my neck, just to get to where I am going in a rush. Hey idiot! No matter what happens and how much you rush, you are still gonna be late!

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!


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