Dealing with my OCD my whole life, has not only been a roller coaster ride, but it also has been learning experience about compassion. Even though I have the intrusive violent and graphically detailed thoughts, they don’t dictate who I am as a human being. Throughout my dealing with the disorder, I have learned to listen, understand and how to work with others. OCD is also known as a bully, a doomsayer or the doubting disorder. I can tell you with assertion, that the names fit correctly, because out of nowhere, it bullies me, it tells me that bad things are going to happen and it also questions my decision-making skills over and over again.
Let me tell you a short story about my OCD. A couple of weekends a month, my wife goes out to the local casino with a couple her girlfriends. I really don’t mind, but my OCD always tells me that something bad is going to happen to her. The only time that I don’t worry is, when I’m under the influence of alcohol or what the medical professionals call, self medicating. So while I’m chilling at home, the doomsayer kicks in and starts telling me, that when my wife parks the car and walks home with her girlfriends, they will be attacked and she’s going to be raped and killed by some nut case or cases. The worst thing about it is, that it presents me the whole thing, with vivid images as it is happening. I know that it might not sound rational. But who ever said that my OCD is rational? You see, when it comes to my OCD, those and more are the kind of thoughts that I have to deal with on a daily basis. In other words… Welcome to my mind.
With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!