My Appointment With The ASSMAN!

TTV - Assman Plate - 1.jpg

Well my homies and homettes, the day is getting closer for my appointment with Dr. W, aka colon and rectal surgeon, aka proctologist, aka “THE ASSMAN”. I know that most likely, he won’t be penetrating me with his finger on Monday, but just in case, I hope that he is not wearing a big fat ring. Also, that at least he buys me lunch, kisses me and tells me that he loves me before going in. I don’t want to feel like a cheap piece of meat. LMFAO! I was really planning on getting my ass checked next year when I turn 50, but shit happens… No pun intended. I really hope that I’m not being too ANAL about my situation. LMFAO!

I wasn’t given any special instructions prior to visiting Dr. W “THE ASSMAN”, so I’m guessing that he’s just going to be asking me questions about what is going on and what my symptoms are. Then we’ll take it from there. Hey life is way too fucking short, and since they recommend that people get a colonoscopy at age 50, I’ve been getting all my ass jokes together for the last 49 years, so I’m sure not going to miss this opportunity.

Hey look! Even though I’m making ass jokes and shit, I’m still a little bit nervous about what has been happening to me lately, but the thing is, that I can’t let it show, because my wife is very worried about me. So right now I’m playing it cool, since I haven’t had any symptoms lately. But I still have to get checked, in order to find out what is going on and what needs to be done.

Oh one last thing! True story though! A couple of weeks ago, when my wife and I visited my GP Dr. O and he checked me, my wife didn’t appreciate none of my ass jokes, specially the one about losing my virginity. She said “You don’t take things seriously. Everything is a joke to you”… I mean, she was probably right, but she didn’t have to be so ANAL about it. LMFAO!

As always, wherever you are in this crazy and insane planet of ours, I hope that you are having a great morning, noon, evening or night. Enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what goes down.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!