What up! What up! What up my homies and homettes!? OK, so today I had to take a vacation day from the salt mines, since yesterday, half way through the day, I started what The Assman calls “A 1 1/2 days bowel preparation”, ahead of Wednesday’s colonoscopy. Woo-Hoo! You have to keep in mind that this is a first for me, since I was going to get my first colonoscopy next year, when I turn 50. Lucky for me, that a good friend of mine, who is also a stupidvisor at the salt mines, advised me not to go into to work today, since I need to be very, and I don’t know how to emphasize this, but very close to a toilet at all times. I mean, I could work from the toilet, if they provide me with a laptop connected to the company’s WiFi and a wireless work phone. I just don’t know how the customers will feel and or react, when I’m talking to them about their bills, and then suddenly, they hear the sound of an upside down volcanic eruption.
To be honest with my loyal 1.5 readers, I’m not afraid of the colonoscopy, I just hate having to drink so much fucking liquid and not being able to eat any solid food for two fucking days. As a matter of fact, when I got home from the salt mines yesterday, I told my wife that I was thinking about calling The Assman’s office, to ask his assistant, if during these two days without eating solids, if at least I’m allowed to eat pussy? If you knew my wife, after 31 years of taking my shit, she has become an expert at ignoring my nonsense. But I do have to wonder, if asked, was The Assman’s assistant going to be able to answer my question, or was she going to have to get back to me on that? You see, those are the kind of questions that make me go… HMMMMM!
One last thing out of the top of my head kids. I personally and truly believe that people who are sneezing due to allergies, shouldn’t be allowed to take laxatives. I’m just throwing it out there.
With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!