Life Is Just Life

It’s funny how many lifestyle bloggers are out there in the blogosphere, specially people that just want to become famous and make a ton of money. With me, that’s not the case. My shrink even told me a couple of times in the past, that I can be sort of an expert when it comes to blogging about bipolar II disorder, OCD and social anxiety disorder, since I have suffered from them for so many years. But you see, the thing about me is, that I find it more interesting, to blog about the shit that I go through in life everyday, rather than to be a niche blogger. I really can’t imagine myself, blogging everyday about the same old shit. I mean, in how many ways, can I explain to my loyal 1.5 reader, what suffering from bipolar II disorder, Pure-O OCD and social anxiety disorder is like? I mean, do people really want to read the same shit every fucking day? I BET NOT!

I know that some people might think, that if I blog about my disorders, I might be able to help others that are going through what I have gone through. But you have to understand, that I have been suffering from them for as long as I can remember, so to me, it’s just something normal. It’s just like someone that is born without a limb. To that person, it’s not a big deal, life is just life. But for someone looking in from the outside, that is a totally different story. I guess that what I am trying to say is, that even though I suffer from multiple mental disorders, to me life is life and it feels great. OK! Most of the time.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!


Depression Sucks!

Life sucks and then some! There are people out there that like myself, feel that they suck as human beings, fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, sons, daughters… well I guess you know where I’m going with this. You see, to be honest with you, I have my good days and my bad days. There are a lot of days that I just don’t want to get out of bed and face the world. I just want to be left alone in my little cocoon. But the reality of it all is, that no matter how fucked up I feel in  a given day, I have to get out of bed and deal with life. Hey look! I’ve been off of Prozac for close to two months now, but that was my choice. Even while I was on Prozac, there were days that I felt like shit. But I still dealt with them as they came.

For a very long time I thought that I was going to be on crazy meds my whole life. But I have to say, that I believe that my shrink thought that too. I guess I decided to go off Prozac, because I wanted to know what it feels like to be me again. Don’t get me wrong, I still take my anxiety and mood meds, but only when needed. I guess that what I am trying to say is, that I know for a fact that I need my crazy meds from time to time, but one thing for sure is, that I don’t believe that I need them to be able to function in life. To be honest with you, this here crazy and insane blog of mine has helped me tremendously when it comes to dealing with my crazy thoughts and depression, because I get to say how and what I feel.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

I Don’t Use My Mental Disorders As An Excuse

As per my shrink, I suffer from Bipolar II disorder, OCD and Social Anxiety Disorder. If you read my about page, you will know by know that I was on a few crazy meds for my crazy mental disorders. But to be honest with you, and lets keep this on the quiet side, because I haven’t told my shrink yet….. I stopped taking the Buspirone and the Prozac and I am only taking the Risperidone, because I have realized, that I really need it to control my crazy mood swings that can change at any time, just like it happened this morning, because I didn’t take it last night before going to bed.

What’s my point with this post? My point is, that five days a week, I have to wake up at 4:30 am to get ready to go to work. You see, unlike SOME people who use their mental disorders as an excuse to get away with not working and not taking responsibility for other shits that they have to, sometimes I feel depressed, down and like shit. But if I don’t go to work, I don’t get paid and if I don’t get paid, I can’t pay my bills. What I am trying to say is….. don’t use your mental disorders in order to get away with murder, because that is sad and pathetic. Grow the fuck up and take responsibility of your life. Do get help and take crazy meds if needed, but please! please! please! stop acting like a little fucking bitch. I suffer from multiple mental disorders, but I put them in the back burner and I take care of my responsibilities, because my problems are my problems and nobody else.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!