It’s So Cold That…

TTV - Willy Warmer - 1.jpg

What up! What up! What up my homies and homettes! I have to say, that it is so fucking cold here in New York City, that I’ll either have to buy a Willie Warmer or a magnifying glass for when I need to take a piss. As I was writing this crazy, insane and boring post of mine, the temp is 4°, but it feels like if its -14°, so I’ll make sure that I keep the boys warm. Take care my peeps.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Let It Rain

Sunday morning, outside my apartment.

What up! What up! What up my homies and homettes! As I mentioned on Sunday’s post, we didn’t get shit of snow here in New York City. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I take rain over snow any day, but that’s one of the few reasons why I don’t believe meteorologists in the first place. I like to watch the weather report early in the morning, when I’m getting ready to head on outside. Other than that, I consider it bullshit, because anything can happen without any warning.

As to staying home and chilling on a Sunday, if you are married, you know that in my case, that shit didn’t happen. Why? Because I’ve always said, that married men can’t make plans. Why? Because like in my case, 99.999% of the times, the boss decides to make last minute changes to our plans, without asking me or letting me know about it. I’ve told her like a million times, about the meaning of the word communication, but does she care? NO WAY MEXICAN JOSE!

You see, in my mind, a married couple means two people. But in my wife’s mind, is only her. But don’t worry my homies and homettes, we’ve known each other for 31 years, so I’m used to her shits and she’s used to my shits. Hey look, I’ve learned that love and or marriage is about listening, understanding, admitting when I’m wrong, making agreements, negotiating, giving things up in the name of love and to compromise, I mean a lot of compromise. Am I happy with the boss? Hell yes! Do I regret anything? Absolutely nothing! To be honest with my loyal 1.5 readers, when I started dating my wife back in the mid 80’s, my so-called friends didn’t like her very much, because of the same qualities that made me fall in love with her. I’m shy and quiet, she’s very vocal and outspoken. I’m relaxed, she’s a very independent and strong woman. I can tell you, that whoever said that opposite attracts, was 100% right.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

What Snow Storm?

cottages in the middle of beach
Photo by Julius Silver on

OK my homies and homettes, because of the bullshit snow storm that was supposed to hit New York City yesterday, the boss (My wife) and I decided not to run some errands, the way that we always do on Saturdays. So I stayed home, took care of a couple of things and then had a couple of cold ones in the evening while listening to some old school House music.

I just don’t get it, with all the technology that the meteorologists have at their disposal today, yet them assholes can’t get shit right? It just doesn’t make any fucking sense to me at all. I know that the weather can change at any given time, without any warning, but why make such a big fucking deal about it if they were not sure in the first place? I think that even if them motherfuckers are not sure, they just scare the shit out viewers for the ratings. A while back I read the book “The culture of fear” by Barry Glassner, yes, yes and yes, even though I’m a high school and college dropout, I do know how to read and write. I’m not going to say that I’m an expert in the fear subject, but after reading the book, a whole lot of shit started to make sense to me, and the way that the news is presented to us, is one of them.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!