Feeling Like Shit

Image by Gordon Johnson from Pixabay

OK my homies and homettes, to be honest, today is one of those days when I feel like shit. Like I’ve always said, everything stinks, nothing smells good to me. I’m sure not going to kick myself in the head, over something that I can’t control. Sometimes, dealing with my mental disorders feels like a fucking roller coaster ride, but I have come to understand, that those were the cards that I was dealt with.

With that said, I’m Audi 5000 y’all!

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It’s OK To Be A Loner

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OK my homies and homettes, for a while now, I’ve been into many arguments with my wife, because I want her to do things with me like visiting museums, camping and going out to enjoy history and nature. But numerous times, she made it clear, that she’s doesn’t like doing those things. Is not that she doesn’t love me, it’s just that we as a couple and as humans, enjoy different things.

When I spoke with the person who approved my medical leave at the salt mines yesterday, he made a good point about getting out and doing things on my own. He told me, that the same thing happens with him and his wife, so from time to time, he goes out and does things that only he enjoys on his own, which he said is a good thing. He also mentioned, that I shouldn’t take the whole thing with my wife personal, which I realized was the case with me. The funny thing is, that for a long time, my shrink Dr. C, has been telling me the same thing. The thing is, that now I understand, that the problem was, that all along I have been taking it personal. So now I’m going to change my mentality and the way that I view things.

One way or another, he also did realize, that my whole life I have been a loner, but one more thing that he mentioned was, that there’s nothing wrong with being who I am, that it is OK to be a loner. Actually, he said that by being a loner, I get to enjoy things that I like on my own, without having to be rushed by someone who accompanies me and is not interested in the things that I am. To be honest, for someone who just met me for about an hour, he did made some excellent points about my mental health, but specially about my social anxiety. Next time that I see him, I will thank him for that.

With that said, I’m Audi 5000 y’all!

The Medical Leave

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OK my homies and homettes, today I had an appointment with one of the doctor’s at the salt mines and due to so many mental shit that I have been dealing with lately, I was given a medical leave until my next appointment on July 15th.

I explained to him, that even though I take my crazy meds every day and I see my shrink Dr. C on a monthly basis, I still have to deal with my Bipolar II, Depression, OCD and Social Anxiety 24/7. Talk therapy and crazy meds do help, but they can only do so much, the rest is up to me.

With that said, I’m Audi 5000 y’all!

Session With My Shrink

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OK my homies and homettes, due to a lot of mental shit that I have been dealing with lately, yesterday my shrink Dr. C asked me to see him on my lunch break from the salt mines. I have to say, that it was a great session and he did filled out the family leave act form for my employer. I told him, that I wanted to take time off from work without pay, but my general manager suggested that due to the nature of my request, I took a sick leave instead, so I could get paid.

So as soon as I got back to the salt mines, I submitted the form to the medical department. I really don’t when they will let me know if it was approved or not, most likely it will be today, but I will keep my fingers crossed, because I really have to get away from the city, everybody and everything for a little while, in order to think things through and figure out what my next move will be with my mental health. I have to say, that sometimes dealing with Bipolar II, Depression, OCD, Social Anxiety, crazy meds and life, is not easy.

With that said, I’m Audi 5000 y’all!

Calling Dr. C

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OK my homies and homettes, since my general manager denied my leave without pay from work, she referred me to my human resource representative. My representative explained to me, that I will need my shrink to fill out a form and then I have to submit it to the medical department for approval. She mentioned, that what my general manager wants, is for me to get paid while I’m sorting things out.

The last time that I saw my shrink Dr. C, I did mention to him, that I really needed some time off from work, away from people and New York City, in order to get my thoughts and all the crazy shit that are going on in my head together. So yesterday, he left me a voicemail, telling me to call him today. I just hope that he helps me out.

With that said, I’m Audi 5000 y’all!

Alone

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There are some people out there, who think, that because a person is married with children, they never feel alone. I have to tell you, that’s not always the case.

With that said, I’m Audi 5000 y’all!