I Didn’t Become A Criminal

barb wires barbed wire barrier blur
Photo by Isabella Mendes on Pexels.com

First things first my peeps! Today is Saturday July 21, 2018 and it marks my 33rd sober day and as always, I feel like Tony the tiger… GRRRRREAT! I just hope that wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, you are having a good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. Always try to enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens.

On a criminal mind note! For those of you who might know me, I’m a forty-eight year old Afro-Dominican man. I grew up in New York City with my mother and six older sisters. My father left the family when I was around twelve years old, so for most of my life, I didn’t have a father. The thing about me is, that even if I went through my rebellious teen years and did some crazy shits, I didn’t become a criminal. My family was poor and had the electricity disconnected many times, but I didn’t become a criminal. I grew up in one of the worst neighborhoods in New York City at the time, but I didn’t become a criminal. I dropped out of high school at around the age of fifteen, but I didn’t become a criminal. My point? I could have used a lot of excuses and life tragedies, to justify a criminal life, but I didn’t. Absolutely nobody and I mean nobody, had to tell me that committing crimes was not only illegal, but wrong. My thing is, why do so many so-called “MEN” become criminals? Why do they have to blame others and society for their fuck ups?

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Advertisements

My Mental Health Sucks, But…

man person people emotions
Photo by Gratisography on Pexels.com

First things first my peeps! Today is Thursday July 19, 2018 and it marks my 31st sober day and as always, I feel like Tony the fucking tiger… GRRRRREAT! I just hope that wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, you are having a good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. Always try to enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens.

On a mental health note! Not for nothing, but one thing that I hate, are people who are always complaining about their mental disorders. I mean, I suffer from bipolar II disorder, OCD and Social Anxiety Disorder, but one thing that you won’t hear from is, me complaining about or talking about them on a daily basis. The thing with me is, that throughout the years, I’ve learned that it is healthier for me to try to live a healthy life… Plus people don’t want to hear me complaining about the same old shit every fucking day. That’s the reason why you see me trying to live a “normal life”. What I mean by that is, that I go out socialize with family, friends and co-workers and have fun. I do have my share of mental problems and I take crazy meds for them, but I can assure you, that I’m not going to let them shit stop me from enjoying my life. The way that I look at it is, that the less I talk about them, the better I feel. The more I talk about them, the more I worry and the worst I feel.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

ONE SOBER MONTH!

20180716_1029251007684027231963425.jpg

What up! What up! What up y’all! Today is Wednesday July 18, 2018 and it marks my 30th sober day, which only means one thing… I HAVE BEEN SOBER FOR ONE WHOLE FUCKING MONTH Y’ALL! I just hope that wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, you are having a good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. Always try to enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens.

On a sober month note! I have to say, that even though I’ve been sober for one month before, this time is different, because I’m not planning on going back to drinking like I did before. This time I have the support of my family and friends. As a matter of fact, my wife and daughter have told everyone that visits us, that alcohol is not allowed in our home… which is good, because temptation is a motherfucker. Even when we go out, my wife doesn’t drink, because she respects and support me on my struggle with alcohol. But as to being sober for so long, it really feels fucking great. I don’t feel anxious, depressed, sick, remorseful or plain and simply put, like shit. As you might have seen on my previous posts, I have been enjoying my weekends to the fullest without being sick to my stomach. The thing about being sober is, that alcohol is not keeping me isolated and away from places that I’ve been wanting to visit for years. I have been able to go out and enjoy places, that I haven’t been able to, because I was too busy drinking my time and life away. I’m not going to lie, I had my share of urges to drink, but I never gave in on them. Since I only like drinking on the weekends, I’m taking it one weekend at a time. No more, no less.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

It’s OK To Give Up

achievement cap celebration ceremony
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

What up! What up! What up my peeps! Today is Tuesday July 17, 2018 and it marks my 29th sober day and as always, I feel like Tony the fucking tiger… GRRRRREAT! No anxiety, no depression, no hangover, no regrets… I mean nothing! I just hope that wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, you are having a good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. Always try to enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens.

On a giving up note! Growing up, we are told never to give up, that the sky is the limit and to follow our dreams. The reality of it all is, that we can’t listen to all that bullshit. I know that we have to try our best in life, but one thing for sure is, that we can’t go crazy while we are at it. Hey look, I’ve dropped out college three times… Yes you read that right… Three times. The thing is, that I already gave up on my dream of getting a college degree. The reason for that is, that I’m happy where I’m at in life right now. I’m not saying that my life is perfect, but I feel comfortable the way that everything is going. I do have my share of financial, family and mental problems, but they are not things that a degree is going to change or fix. I used to kick myself in the ass a lot before, not anymore, because I’m OK with who I have become.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Tony At! A Wedding

 

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

First things first my peeps! Today is Monday July 16, 2018 and it marks my 28th sober day and as always, I feel like Tony the tiger… GRRRRREAT! I just hope that wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, you are having a good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. Always try to enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens.

On a having fun note! Even though I hate going to parties on Sundays, yesterday I had to attend my co-worker’s and good friend’s wedding. In other words, there are exceptions to my rule. The thing is, that my wife and I really had a lot of fun, since we were siting at the same table with many of my co-workers. Even though my wife and I didn’t drink any alcohol, we still had a lot of fun and we laughed a lot. We did get home late and I still have to go to the salt mines today, but it was all worth it. It’s funny, because my wife was already talking to me about going to Madame Tussauds New York next Sunday. I have to say, that I love her to death, not only because we have been together for thirty years, but because we love, understand and support each other. May we be together for thirty more years.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Sometimes Life Is Fucked Up!

TTV - Adult Life - 2

What up! What up! What up y’all! Today is Sunday July 15, 2018 and it marks my 27th sober day and as always, I feel like Tony the fucking tiger… GRRRRREAT! I just hope that wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, you are having a good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. Always try to enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens.

On a blame game note! I have to say, that most of the times life is fucking crazy to say the least. I’ve been reading the book “Fresh off the boat” by Eddie Huang and I have to say, for a long time, I used to think that I had a really fucked up childhood. But reading about this guy’s past, I really can’t complain. You see, I really can’t remember the day that my parents hit me, because they never did. I really can’t remember, the day that they punished me, because they never did. Well, I do have to add, that as a child, I was shy and quiet and only got into fights or trouble, when someone fucked me first. Other than that, I kept to myself. The thing is, that I’m tired of grown ass motherfuckers, blaming their parents and others for everything that is wrong with their adult life. Don’t get me wrong, I did go through some shits in life while growing up… and I used to blame my parents and others, but after a while, I took responsibility for my mistakes as an adult. My point? Stop blaming others for your fuck ups! Just like everything in life, parents are not perfect, but if you keep fucking up as an adult and you keep blaming others, then the problem is not them… YOU ARE THE PROBLEM! 

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

I Was Not My Father’s Son

photo of man carrying baby
Photo by Alex Smith on Pexels.com

First things first my peeps! Today is Thursday July 12, 2018 and it marks my 25th sober day and as always, I feel like Tony the fucking tiger… GRRRRREAT! I just hope that wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, you are having a good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. Always try to enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens.

On a hating my father note! When I was around eleven or twelve years old, one day, while nobody was at home, my father picked up his things and left the family without telling anyone where he was going, he even took all the money. To be honest with you, after a while, I learned not to care about him. I just forgot that I ever had a father. For around the next twelve years or so, my family didn’t know if he was dead or alive. I have to say, that without him, we did go through a lot of shit, but we did survive. The thing is, that I used to blame him for everything that went wrong in my life… and so I hated him with a passion. When he died in the year 2000, he left all of his children one thousand dollars each. But since I didn’t want anything to do with him, I gave my share to my kids. I remember that I only bought myself a case of beer, to get drunk and celebrate that he was gone. For many, many, many years, I blamed him for all the shit that I went through in life. Until one day, I woke up and realize, that my father wasn’t at fault for everything that I have gone through. I was to blame. I had to change… and change I did, because I didn’t want to be like him.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!