We Are All Fucked!

For the past few days, I have noticed that I’m not suffering from what they call “morning depression” compared to last week and the previews weeks before. The thing about it is, that there are two things that I have changed, and they are 1) I am back on Prozac and 2) I have stopped watching the news in the morning. So right now, my money is on the news. For years, I’ve said that the news industry, has to sensationalize every story, because they have to appeal to readers and get higher ratings and ad revenues. I know for a fact, that after watching a lot of news, I feel as if humanity is coming to an end. I feel like if the shit has hit the fan and there’s nothing that I can do about it.

If you were to look at the stories in the news right now, they will most likely be about car accident deaths, celebrity deaths, child abuse and murders, child abductions and murders, corruption, corrupt politicians, drug related deaths, economic collapse, all sorts of epidemics, fire related deaths, gang related killings, health scares, murders, opioid epidemic, pedophiles, perverts, police shootings, rapes, robberies, school shootings and wars. Based on the news media, right now… WE ARE ALL FUCKED! and there is nothing that we can do about it.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!


Depression Sucks!

Life sucks and then some! There are people out there that like myself, feel that they suck as human beings, fathers, mothers, brothers, sisters, sons, daughters… well I guess you know where I’m going with this. You see, to be honest with you, I have my good days and my bad days. There are a lot of days that I just don’t want to get out of bed and face the world. I just want to be left alone in my little cocoon. But the reality of it all is, that no matter how fucked up I feel in  a given day, I have to get out of bed and deal with life. Hey look! I’ve been off of Prozac for close to two months now, but that was my choice. Even while I was on Prozac, there were days that I felt like shit. But I still dealt with them as they came.

For a very long time I thought that I was going to be on crazy meds my whole life. But I have to say, that I believe that my shrink thought that too. I guess I decided to go off Prozac, because I wanted to know what it feels like to be me again. Don’t get me wrong, I still take my anxiety and mood meds, but only when needed. I guess that what I am trying to say is, that I know for a fact that I need my crazy meds from time to time, but one thing for sure is, that I don’t believe that I need them to be able to function in life. To be honest with you, this here crazy and insane blog of mine has helped me tremendously when it comes to dealing with my crazy thoughts and depression, because I get to say how and what I feel.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Low Sex Drive

For those of you who might not know, I suffer from Bipolar disorder II, OCD and social anxiety disorder. The point being is, that I have been on crazy meds for more than ten years. The truth of the matter is, that I was afraid of going off of the crazy meds for many reasons, one is being depressed again and two, my OCD getting worst again. You have to understand that even though SSRI’s have many side effects, it doesn’t mean that users will experience all of them or better yet, some of them. I have to say, that when I started the crazy meds, I did experience some side effects that went away within a few weeks, but there was one that didn’t.

The one side effect that never went away was low sex drive. Actually, I didn’t put my finger on the problem, until a few months ago. Don’t get me wrong, antidepressants have worked wonders for me when it came to depression, OCD and Social Anxiety Disorder, but it all came at a high price. You have to understand, that I am 48 years old and I don’t have an erection problem, it’s just that my sex drive was lower than what it was before I went on antidepressants. So what did I do? I decided to go off of the med without telling my shrink. I haven’t seen any change yet, but I know for a fact, that it will take a few weeks for the med to get out of my system completely. Fingers crossed and I am looking forward, for my sex drive to get back to normal again.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!