Alcoholism: My Choice Vs A Disease

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A picture of what my friends were drinking at my home. I didn’t drink though!

First things first my peeps! Wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, good morning, good afternoon, good evening and good night. As always, enjoy your Friday to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens.

On a drinking choice Vs a disease note! I’m not going to come in here and claim to be an expert on alcoholism. But one thing that I can tell you for sure is, that I’m forty-eight years old and I have been drinking on and off ever since I was a teenager. As a matter of fact, I have stopped drinking on my own, for many years in a row and to be honest with you, I didn’t miss it at all. But for many, many, many years now, I have said that “I” believe alcoholism to be a learned behavior rather than a disease. I consider myself an infrequent binge drinker, because I’m able to stop on my own. Plus I only drink on the weekends, since I’m off from work. The thing is, that I only drink either when I’m socializing with family and friends or when I’m bored at home and I feel like just having a few cold ones while listening to some old music. The one thing that you can be sure about is, that I don’t drink because my brain needs it or wants it. When I see my friends drinking, do I want to join them sometimes? Yes! But then I think about how I’m going to feel like shit the next morning. Do I join them sometimes? Yes! But not because I need it, only because I made that choice on my own.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Thirty Minutes With My Shrink

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What up! What up! What up! What up y’all! Wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, I hope that you are having a good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. As always, enjoy your Friday to the fullest and don’t let nobody or nothing fuck it up for you no matter what happens.

On a weekend drinking note! Yesterday I saw my shrink Dr. C and we talked about my weekend drinking and binges. We came up with a plan, that since I have stopped drinking for five weekends in the past, this time I will go for six. He also mentioned, that I’m half way there, wich is true. But I did tell him, that I don’t see myself staying sober for the rest of my life. But I do see myself taking long no drinking breaks. He was OK with that and told me, that I should just start with small goals. I’m OK with that.

On a OCD intrusive thought note! Dr. C and I also got to talked about my OCD intrusive thoughts and how hard it is for me to talk about them. I did mentioned to him that I have been blogging about them again, he liked the idea. I told him, how before I got psychiatric help, I used to feel that I was a horrible person because of the awful thoughts. I really think that the crazy meds, talk therapy and blogging, has helped me open up a little more about them. The combination of all three, have really helped me.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

I’m Keeping It Dirty

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My messy desk at work.

What up! What up! What up! What up y’all! TGIF and I hope that wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, you are having a great morning, afternoon, evening or night. Enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens. Always keep it really real my peeps.

On a OCD note? People who don’t suffer and or don’t know much about OCD, don’t know that my life is a daily struggle. The thing is, that seeing my shrink every month and taking my crazy meds everyday helps, but it doesn’t take all of the symptoms away. When you look at the picture above, you might just see my dirty and messy desk at work. But when I look at it, I see a big accomplishment. Why? Because twelve years ago, in my pre-shrink and pre-crazy meds era, I had everything on my desk in order, from small to large, from left to right, by color, by height, by length, by odd or even numbers, etc, etc, etc. So because my anxiety is at a minimal now, I have been able to finally relax and not let the smallest things that are “not in order” bother me so much. Now do you understand why my messy desk is an accomplishment for me?

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!