When I Met Another OCD Sufferer

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Good morning and happy Tuesday y’all! Like always, I hope that you are having a great morning, noon, evening or night depending on where you find yourself at this moment in time in this crazy planet of ours. Also, don’t forget to enjoy your day to the fullest and please, do not let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens.

On a OCD note! I think that it’s really funny, that I have suffered from OCD for as far back as I can remember, yet I’ve only met someone else who suffers from it in person only once. I have to say, that it was a really cool experience for me, because as soon as we started to talk about our OCD at my first shrink’s office, there was an instant click or better yet, I felt as if I knew this person for a very long time. We started telling each other what our OCD made us do and the crazy intrusive thoughts that we had. I never thought that I would meet someone like that in my entire life. Someone who I had so many similarities with. I think that it was the first and last time in my life, that I actually felt comfortable talking about all the crazy things about my OCD. You have to understand, that I find that the hardest part about my OCD, is actually telling someone my crazy, insane, ugly and violent intrusive thoughts. It’s even hard to talk to my shrink about them. For a while, I thought about attending or joining a OCD support group here in New York City, but my work schedule and personal life won’t allow me to. Right now, I’m looking for an online group. If you know of a good one, please let me know.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

I’m Back On Risperidone

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Good morning and happy Monday y’all! I know exactly what you might be thinking right about now. What the fuck can possibly be so fucking happy about a Monday Tony? Hey!… at least we are alive. That’s what really counts. Like always, I hope that you are having a great morning, noon, evening or night depending on where you find yourself at this moment in time in this crazy planet of ours. Also, don’t forget to enjoy your day to the fullest and pleasedo not let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens.

On a crazy med note! Last Wednesday April 11, I had another session with my excellent shrink Dr. C. As usual, he asked about my bipolar mood and OCD intrusive thoughts, at which time I told him that nothing has changed. You see, Prozac has only helped me with my depression and anxiety, but not my intrusive thoughts. But that’s another post. So to make sure that I don’t experience any mood swings, which I have in the past, we decided that I will go back on Risperidone, The thing is, that I used to take it twice a day, and when I took my second dose while at work, I would get really drowsy and sometimes even fall asleep at my desk. So this time, we decided that I will only take 2 mg at night. The truth is, that I really like taking the Risperidone at night, because together with the Ambien, I feel that I get more sleep.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

My Mental Health: The Hypocrites

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Good morning and happy Saturday my peeps! Like always, I hope that you are having a great morning, noon, evening or night depending on where you find yourself at this moment in time in this crazy planet of ours. Also, don’t forget to enjoy yourself to the fullest, and please..do not let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens.

On a mental health note! It’s funny how I’ve been dealing with Bipolar II disorder, depression, OCD and Social Anxiety Disorder since as far back as I can remember. But when I was finally diagnosed around thirteen years ago, some of my family members and friends didn’t like the idea that I was open about it in social networking sites. They didn’t understand, that I was trying to finally find and connect with others like me. THAT WAS THEN… THIS IS NOW! To be honest with you, the shit that really bothers the fuck out of me today is, that when a celebrity reveals that he/she has been diagnosed and is suffering from some mental disorder, the support pours out from all over the fucking world. I have even seen some of the same people who tried to silence me around thirteen years ago, now feel sorry for those celebrities. FUCKING HYPOCRITES! The good thing is, that I never listened to those people. I kept posting and talking about my multiple mental disorders, crazy meds and therapy. My whole point is, that you have to do what you think is best for you… as long as you are not being a dick or an asshole to others. Just be yourself. Another thing about me is, that I hate following the leaders. When I do something, it’s only because I want to do it, not because I was told to or I saw someone else doing it. Be true to yourself.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

I’m Back On Prozac

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Good morning and happy Thursday y’all! I know! I know! I know! I know! I know! We still have one more fucking day to go Tony. Guess what? FUCK IT! At least, we should all be glad that at we made it this far. So do me a big favor and turn that stupid looking frown upside down… pleeeeease! And as always, I hope that you are having a good morning, good day or good night, depending on where you are in this crazy planet of ours. But most importantly, remember to enjoy your day to the fullest and DO NOT!… I repeat… DO NOT! let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens or goes on.

On another note! A couple of months ago, I went off of Prozac, just to see if I really needed the crazy med. And by the way, that is something that I do not suggest my loyal 1.5 readers do without first consulting with their shrink. The whole thing is, that it really sucked. I mean, at the same time I was going through some personal problems at home and shit. But I can tell you, that I was waking up all fucked up and depressed in the morning. Sometimes I would feel better as the day dragged on, but it really sucked. After seeing my shrink a few weeks ago, I decided to go back on a low dosage of Prozac, but I eventually upped my dosage to the original amount that I used to be on, which is 80mg a day. I have to say, that I don’t feel depressed in the morning anymore and I do feel way, way better. In other words, do not fuck around with your crazy meds, unless your shrink gives you the OK to do it. What did I get out my little shitty experiment? A few weeks feeling like shit!

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

The Missing Passion

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First things first my peeps! Good morning and happy Tuesday. I know! I know! I know! I know! I know! This is the beginning of the second workday and we still have three more goddamn days to go. Hey just try to look at it this way!… at least we are still alive and we get to do it all over again. In other words, we are not pushing up daisies. One thing that I have to say is, that nobody’s life is perfect, it does get bad from time to time, but eventually, it will get better. Life will never be perfect, but it does get better.

On another note! A lot of times I sit back and try to figure out what I’m passionate about in life. But the truth of the matter is that I can’t come up with one answer to that question. I don’t mean that everybody has to be passionate about something in life, I guess that what I am trying to find is, something that I really enjoying doing. Hey look! I’ve been happily married for thirty years and I have two adult kids, but what I am trying to say is, that my wife and kids have their own things that they enjoy doing. I keep asking myself, why is it that I can’t find that one thing aside from my family, that gives me joy and keeps my mind busy and away from drinking?

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!