My Feelings Don’t Matter

Yesterday morning I was still feeling like shit, so when I woke up, I decided that I just didn’t want to take a bath. I just went back to bed and slept for an extra half hour. When I woke up, I got dressed, drank some coffee with cream, brushed my teeth, fed my dog and got ready to head on out to what I like to call the salt mines (work). The funny thing about my life is, that no matter how down, sad or depressed I feel in the morning, I have to put on a mask, walk out the door, go to work and act as if nothing is wrong with me. I think that is one of the hardest part about being a man… not being able to show my true emotions or feelings, because of course, I am a man and I naturally have to be strong. To be honest with you, that is a whole bunch of bullshit.

I keep reading that suicide is higher in men than women, and to be honest with you, I can understand why. Throughout life, men are taught to be strong no matter what we have to confront or go against. The reality of it all is, that we have feelings too, and Just like women, we can mentally breakdown. It’s just that we are taught, that out of the two sexes, we are supposed to be the strong one. We are not supposed to be cray babies. Like robots, we are not supposed to show any emotions. I know that a lot people have been trying to change that way of thinking for a while now, which is good. The only thing that I can do is, post my crazy thoughts and feelings on this here crazy blog of mine.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!


From Rag To Riches

It’s funny, but for some weird reason, lately I have been reading books about successful people who started with nothing. People who were close to losing everything that they owned, broke and or even homeless. Don’t get me wrong, like I told my shrink a while back, I’m not planning on starting a business anytime soon. It’s just that for some weird reason, I find it fascinating, to learn how some of today’s multi-billion dollar corporations got started in the first place. I just like to learn, the history behind big brand names. How they went from absolutely nothing, to something big.

The one thing that I have noticed about old school entrepreneurs is, that they never set out to become millionaires or even billionaires. They started their companies, just because they wanted to work for themselves, not for someone else. They just wanted to have a successful business and make a living out of it. In other words, a business that would help them pay their bills and live a comfortable life. Which is something that I don’t see in today’s young entrepreneurs. Today, people want to start a business for fame and money, which I think are the wrong reasons to get into any type of business. But what do I know.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Alone With My Crazy Thoughts

From Monday through Friday, I use public transportation to get to work and back home. What really amazes me is, the amount of people who have their heads buried in the smartphones. I mean, don’t get me wrong, people can do whatever the fuck they want to do with their lives and time, but what gets to me is, that even people who are riding with family and friends, don’t even bother to interact with one another. You have to understand, that ever since I was around five years old, I have always liked to observe people and try to understand why they behave and act the way that they do. I know! I know! I know! I know! I know! I will never get to the bottom of it, but at least, it keeps my mind busy when I’m in public, plus it helps me with my racing thoughts and it keeps me away from looking at my stupid smartphone.

Sometimes I think that some people might feel awkward, weird or just out-of-place when they are in public, so they keep looking at their smartphones, even though they don’t have shit to look at, because to be honest with you, there is no WiFi signal in the subway tunnels here in New York City, it’s only available in the train stations. I guess that what I am trying to say is, that I feel comfortable just sitting in a train alone with my thoughts. But I think that there are people out there, who feel uncomfortable alone with their thoughts. Hey look! Even though I suffer from Pure-O OCD, I do hate some of my crazy and insane thoughts, but there is noting that I can do about them. The thing is, that I have learned to live with them and not let them bother me. In other words, people really have to feel comfortable being alone with their thoughts.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

We Are All Fucked!

For the past few days, I have noticed that I’m not suffering from what they call “morning depression” compared to last week and the previews weeks before. The thing about it is, that there are two things that I have changed, and they are 1) I am back on Prozac and 2) I have stopped watching the news in the morning. So right now, my money is on the news. For years, I’ve said that the news industry, has to sensationalize every story, because they have to appeal to readers and get higher ratings and ad revenues. I know for a fact, that after watching a lot of news, I feel as if humanity is coming to an end. I feel like if the shit has hit the fan and there’s nothing that I can do about it.

If you were to look at the stories in the news right now, they will most likely be about car accident deaths, celebrity deaths, child abuse and murders, child abductions and murders, corruption, corrupt politicians, drug related deaths, economic collapse, all sorts of epidemics, fire related deaths, gang related killings, health scares, murders, opioid epidemic, pedophiles, perverts, police shootings, rapes, robberies, school shootings and wars. Based on the news media, right now… WE ARE ALL FUCKED! and there is nothing that we can do about it.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

The Culture Of Fear

“Health scare”, “Deliver us from evil”, “City of death”, “Gun crazy country”, “22 more die in Syria, UN calls for ceasefire”, “Bullets hit two at Queens jiggle joint”, “Tourist at Met had measles” and “Bloody bid for freedom” were some of the stories in just one Sunday newspaper. Hey look, politicians, pundits, and journalists use fear mongering to draw attention to issues, often justified as informing the public, when in reality is just a whole bunch of bullshit. You have to understand that there’s a fine line between creating an informed citizenry and creating a fearful citizenry and that is exactly what they use to get our attention… fear. The reality of it all is, that we are not seeing the end of the world as we know it, it is our perception of danger that has increased, not the actual level of risk.

The reason why I have cut down on the amount of news that I consume is, that everything that they report is negative and throughout the years, I have realized that it has been affecting my mood… specially in the morning. My shrink told me once, that I could read or watch the news, but not to overdose on it, which is what I have tried to do for a while. But to be honest with you, sometimes I forget, specially when I finish my work early and I don’t have nothing to do at work. Right now, I just bought a book tittle “The culture of fear: Why Americans are afraid of the wrong things”. You see, when I don’t drink alcohol, I love to read, plus reading keeps my mind busy and away from the news. I just hope that the book is interesting enough, to keep me busy for a couple of weeks.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

WTF Are People Thinking?

“Radio host loses job after sexual comments on teen Olympian”

“Bronx teacher sparks outrage for using black students in cruel slavery lesson”

“Lawyer charged with stealing $1,600 from wallet that was dropped in Wake courthouse”

“Seven prison guards arrested for sexually assaulting female inmates who ‘had nowhere to turn for help”

“Teens busted after threatening to shoot up Brooklyn high school

My only three questions are. What the fuck is wrong with some people? What the fuck are some people thinking these days? Do they even think before they do or say something?

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Conspicuous Consumption In My Hood

Ever since I was a teenager, I remember seeing some people in my neighborhood driving expensive cars with very expensive sound systems. They used to buy expensive clothes, sneakers and jewelry. I knew that all that they wanted to do was to draw attention and to show off. They wanted everyone to think that they had money and that the rest of the community couldn’t afford what the individual could. The funny thing about me was, that when I saw such individual driving or walking down the block, I would just turn my head the other way. Why? Because in my mind, they just looked like fucking clowns and so I found them to be ridiculous.

Thirty plus years later, and I was still asking myself why do people like to show off? Then I learned something new, and it is called “conspicuous consumption”. The term refers to consumers who buy expensive items to display wealth and income rather than to cover the real needs of the consumer. In other words, people use consumer goods as a means of displaying status and so they play a wealth-signaling game. The key words here are wealth and income. Why? Because personally, I know a few people who buy expensive items and talk shit about it every minute they get, in the attempt to impress others. When in reality, they are broke ass motherfuckers, who owe money to everyone they know. For example, I’ve even seen people in my hood, who have spent hundreds of dollars on a brand new smartphone, but can’t afford to pay their rent or put gas in their car. That’s how broke they are. I know it is their money, but what bothers me the most is, when they ask to borrow money from me. Dumb-ass people like that, are all over the world.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

The Rush Hour Triathlon

Five days a week, I take the train to and from work. And five days a week, I see people killing themselves to either get a seat in the train or get off the train and up the stairs or elevators. The funny thing about it all is, that I just love to stand back and look at how fucking ridiculous they look. I keep asking myself, how would these people behave in Armageddon? These people are just going to be pushing kids, women, the elderly and handicap people out of their way in order to save themselves. It’s just incredible how some humans behave when put in the rush hour triathlon.

Me in the other hand, I just like to stand back and look at human behavior at its best. I mean don’t get me wrong, I understand that some people might be late getting somewhere. But why don’t they do like me… I leave FUCKING early! I understand that I live in New York City and everything moves fast, but come on! Pushing people out of their way, just to get a fucking seat in the train? The way that I look at it is like this, there’s always a train behind that one. Unless for some weird and unexplained reason, The New York City MTA runs out of trains! Whatever the reason behind the rush is, I refuse to join the crazy people in their quest to get a seat in the train or to get to wherever they are going in a rush. My solution to the rush triathlon problem is… I leave early. Hey look! If you are late, you are late. It doesn’t matter if you run over the lady with the cane or the little kid and his pregnant mother. As a matter of fact, I’m not going to break a leg or my neck, just to get to where I am going in a rush. Hey idiot! No matter what happens and how much you rush, you are still gonna be late!

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Are Some People Born Assholes, Or Do They Have To Work On It?

I know that I have criticized newspapers for publishing sensationalized stories, and I have said that I would cut down on my news consumption many times before. But the truth of the matters is, that I still do read online newspapers, but like my shrink told me once, I try not to overdose on them. Let’s be honest, too much news is not good for me and I know it. But getting back to this crazy and insane post of mine, I was reading an “exclusive story” on the New York daily news website titled “Queens school rejects student’s bid to add his name Malcolm X on senior sweater, then mocks him”, you can read it here.

To make a long story short, High School student Malcolm Xavier Combs was told by a school official, that Malcolm X, was someone who he didn’t want to be associated with. My question is… What the FUCK is wrong with some people these days!? I mean, why is it that some people can’t just shut the fuck up about things that doesn’t concern them? I just don’t get why some celebrities, government officials, politicians, school officials and so forth, who are out of touch with reality, have to open their big fucking mouth, in order to put others down? I mean! REALLY!?. I know that I blog about a lot of shits that I like, dislike and hate, but my ground rule is, that I can put myself down as many times as I want to, but I don’t do that shit to others, just so I can feel better about myself. Some people just need to learn when to shut the fuck up!

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Racism Is Racism No Matter What

First things first my peeps! “The term ‘racism,’ according to, which primarily uses the Random House Unabridged Dictionary as a source, is most simply the hatred or intolerance of another race or other races”. “Racism Is Racism.”, The Odyssey Online,  To be honest with you, I know that I’m going to go out on a limb with this post. But as my loyal 1.5 readers already know by now, frankly my dear, I just don’t give a fuck! So here I go! There are minorities who are racist, yet I don’t hear society talk shit about them. Another thing is, that there have been a question, that have been bothering me since the early 90’s, when I really liked stand up comedy. Why is it OK for minority comedians, to make fun of White people, but it is racist or wrong for White comedians do the opposite? And if they do, why is it that those White comedians are considered racist, yet the minority comedians are not? What is the difference? Isn’t racism just racism no matter what?

The way that I look at the whole racism movement going on right now is, that “there is no such thing as ‘reverse racism’ or ‘opposite racism’ because racism itself is not discriminatory against any particular race”. “Racism Is Racism.”, The Odyssey Online, You see, it bothers me, when I see minorities who are racist specially against White people. The hell! I’ve seen people being racist against their own race, yet complain about others being racist. It is also good to mention, that “A certain race can even be racist against their own race, and that is not called ‘self racism’ or ‘opposite racism’ or ‘backwards racism.’ It is simply called racism”. “Racism Is Racism.”, The Odyssey Online, My point is, that people nowadays, really have to get their heads out of their assholes before they call out racism. Just look the fuck around… racism is racism no matter what.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Equality = More Likes

I find it troubling how there are people who cry inequality in a specific business or industry, when they have the money, power and influence that can help change things around, yet they do shit about it. It doesn’t make sense to me, how some famous and or powerful people, have the balls to come out, when minorities are mistreated, overlooked, underpaid and or underrepresented, yet they don’t do shit to bring equality in their corresponding business or industry, except to talk shit and start arguments in social media. To be honest with you, I think that they are just a whole bunch of overpaid assholes, with overgrown egos and huge bank accounts, that just want to look good in the eyes of the general public or their fans and followers.

My whole point is, that change is not about a celebrity or a powerful person complaining in social media, starting a hashtag, starting an organization, being in a commercial or publicly giving money to charities. It’s about using their influence and power to truthfully and actually get equality for all. The truth of the matter is, that I really don’t give a rat’s ass about the color of people’s skin or hair, race, religion, height, nationality, weight and or sexual orientation. Simply put, equality is everyone’s right. But to use it as a way to make money, gain fans, followers, likes and approval? In my book, that is the lowest of the lowest.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Stop Enabling Stupid People

A few years ago, The Metropolitan Transportation Authority aka The MTA decided to provide cellular and WiFi signal to all of it 424 subway stations throughout New York City. Why? Maybe just because someone didn’t have shit to do and said… AHA! Or just simply, because most riders suffer from fear of missing out aka FoMo and they complained about it. Whatever the reason behind their stupid decision was, other riders like myself, ended up paying for it. What do I mean by that? Well, now that riders have full access to free underground cellular and WiFi signals in all of the city’s subway stations, it means that they can keep connected to what I just love to call the “antisocial networking sites and apps” and to top it all off, they can also make and receive stupid calls.

You see, there are two problems with giving stupid people access to cellular and WiFi signals underground. The first one is, that stupid people don’t think! And so they have loud conversations about shit that I really don’t give a flying fuck about, don’t want to listen to, or are none of my fucking business. And two, with access to “antisocial networking sites and apps”, they watch dumb-ass stupid videos with the cell phone volume blasted all the way up… remember, they are stupid people, so they don’t know why headphones were invented, what are they used for or in some cases, that they even exist. Plus keep in mind, that all of this shit is going on, while many of us are trying to have a quiet and comfortable ride to and from work.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

I Hate Smartphone Zombies

As per Wikipedia “A smartphone zombie is a pedestrian who walks slowly and without attention to their surroundings because they are focused upon their smartphone“. As per me, smartphone zombies are a whole bunch of idiots, who need to be pushed the fuck out of the way, because they are slowing down foot traffic and making it inconvenient for others who have a life, to get to where they are going on time, without any interruption. In other words… smartphone zombies are simply put… assholes!

Hey look don’t get me wrong, since I was young I’ve been into technology. But the one thing that I can tell you is, that I have never and will never let technology such as a smart phone, control my life. I do use my smart phone, but when I get a message from my wife or kids, I always move to the side, read it and respond. I’m not one of those assholes that start walking slow in front of the rest of us, only because of their “fear of missing out”. I also have to add, that the only time that I answer text messages is, if they come from my wife or kids. Why? Because it could be an emergency. Other people… well, they have to wait until I have time to get back to them. Remember, I have a life and I don’t have time to be texting back and forth like a crazy teenager. If someone really needs to talk to me, they can just give me a call. If I don’t pick up, they can leave me voice mail.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

I Didn’t Take Your Job!

In 1969 I was born in Santo Domingo, the capital of The Dominican Republic. When I was three years old, my father move the family to Puerto Rico, which is an unincorporated territory of the United States of America. Then in 1978, when I was nine years old, my father decided to move the family again, this time to New York City. So, for the last 39 years, I have called New York City my home. This is the place where I met the love of my life and the place where I started my own family. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve been back to The Dominican Republic on vacations with my family many, many, many times. But to be honest with you, I don’t know the country and I for sure, could not get used to it.

My point is, that I… like many other immigrants before me, have become accustomed to the American culture and way of life. But the one thing that really fucking bothers me the most is, when I hear some Americans, not all of them, say that immigrants are taking their jobs away. Really? #1) I worked in factories for twenty years…. and I have two herniated disks to proof it. I just wonder why those complaining Americans don’t want those factory jobs? I wonder if it is because they pay the minimum wage for hard labor? and #2) I got my current office job because I am bilingual. I can speak, read and write in English and Spanish. Hmmm! I just wonder if those complaining Americans can communicate in other languages? OH One more thing! To those idiots who keep saying “speak English, this is America” to immigrants, The United States of America, doesn’t have an official language yet… fucking dumbass!

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!