Evidence Of My Last Binge

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First things first my homies and homettes! Wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. Enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what goes down.

OK, I must admit, that this shit is fucking funny, yet sad, because even though I have been sober for a little over three weeks, a couple of days ago, my wife was looking for something in my armoire… Why? I don’t know! But she found what I will refer to as, the last evidence of my last weekend binge. OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! I know that by now, my loyal 1.5 readers, might be asking themselves. What the fuck was an empty bottle of beer doing in your armoire Tony? I have to say, that is a good and legitimate question. So here I go.

You see, my wife doesn’t have a problem with me drinking per se, since I only drink on the weekends and at home. But the problem is, that as soon as I have the first beer, all bets are off, because I will start drinking none stop, from Friday evening, all the way to Sunday night. So, since she doesn’t want me drinking on Sundays, I’ll look for any stupid excuse, to go out to the grocery store and buy a couple of beers. The thing is, that I can’t put them in the refrigerator, because she always finds them there and pour them down the drain. So, what are the best places for an alcoholic like me, to hide his beers from his wife? Drum roll please! Armoires, closets, nightstands and laundry hampers. Hey look, don’t laugh, it really took me many, many, many years, many trials an error and a lot of hard work, for me to perfect my hiding skills and eventually, become a professional at hiding alcohol all over the apartment from my wife. Don’t worry my alcoholic brothers and sisters, my book “Agent Double O Alky: How to kill your liver quietly” will be available on Amazon very soon. If you provide your alky card, you will receive a discount on your purchase, so you can buy alcohol with the saved money.

Peace out, and with that said! I am Audi 5000 Y’all!

Why The Hate?

two men hugging each other
Photo by Marcelo Chagas on Pexels.com

First things first my homies and homettes! Wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. Enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what goes down.

On a why the hate note! Yesterday, when I left the salt mines, as I was heading down to the subway station, two guys holding hands passed by me. It’s funny, because the first thing that popped into my mind was, how some people can’t see same-sex couples showing affection to one another in public. I started to think about all the shit that the LGBTQIA community has been going through lately in the U.S. and I personally think that it’s just fucking sad.

I remember years back, when they were fighting to legalize same-sex marriage in the state of New York. Even though I’m heterosexual, I was all for it. Why? Because every human being, should be allowed to marry whoever the fuck they want to. No religion, religious believes, religious institutions or books show dictate who the fuck a person can and can’t have sex with and marry.

To be honest with you, I’ve met a couple of homophobes in the past. The thing about them was, the fact that they never tried to hide it. They were very open and vocal about it. The questions that I’ve always asked myself about homophobes are. Why? Why the hate?

Peace out my homies and homettes!

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!