The Not So Perfect Life

Do you want to know who I find very stupid yet funny? The so-called lifestyle bloggers. I mean, these people blog about life, but when you look close… they are just a whole bunch of bullshitters. The thing is, that my whole life, I have always been honest with people and I have always liked people who have been honest with me, and that is the reason why I say, that lifestyle bloggers are full of bullshit, because they don’t have on ounce of honesty in their entire body.

The one thing that I like to let my loyal 1.5 readers is, that I don’t do this for fame and or money, I just do it to be able to say out-loud, the crazy shits that are going through my crazy mind and some of the things that I am currently dealing with in my life. So called lifestyle bloggers just love to portray their lives as being perfect… and I have to tell you, that there is no such thing as a prefect life. You can be as poor as poor can be, you can be as rich as rich can be or you can be right smack in the middle of everything, but I bet you one thing… your life is far from being perfect. That’s the reason why sometimes, you don’t see me post shit for days… because sometimes, life gets the best of me and I just feel like shit, and I just don’t feel like blogging. Maybe, just maybe, you have noticed, that lately, I have been trying to get into the habit of blogging, even when I feel like shit, just to get it out of my system or get out of the funk. The reality of it all is, that my life sucks… sometimes, then I move on. But I don’t try to hide that from my loyal 1.5 readers, because that’s just not me.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!


My Little Princess

Yesterday was the second day that my 28-year-old daughter moved out… and to be honest with you, IT FUCKING SUCKS! This situation really takes me back, to when my sisters started to get married and move out to start their own families. You see, I am the youngest of seven children and the only boy, so to see them go, was really hard for me to understand. The whole thing about being a parent is, that no matter how old our children get, they will always be our little babies. Actually… I can only imagine how my mother must have felt, when I decided to move out of her apartment, with my wife and daughter. She probably felt as sad as I feel right now.

I do have to say, that we have been in contact through texting, plus I gave her a few dollars before she left. I also told her, that if she needed anything and I mean anything, just to let me know. The reality of it all is, that no matter how old she is or where ever she lives, she will always be my little princess.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!


The Failure

It’s funny how sometimes I look back at my life and I feel that I have failed as a son, as a husband, as a father, as a brother and as a friend. I mean, I look back at a lot of decisions that I have made in my life… and I ask myself… Why? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that I have been a dick or an asshole. It’s just that sometimes I think that I could have been a better person. I have always given others the benefit of the doubt and I have tried to be the best person that someone could meet in their lives. But sometimes… just sometimes… inside of me… it feels as if that hasn’t been enough. I feel that people have expected more from me… and I feel that actually… I should have given them more.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Sometimes My Life Feels Like Shit

To be honest with you, as I write this post, I’m at work, feeling like shit. I’ve always hated using the word depression, for many, many years, whenever I feel like shit, I say that I feel down, not depressed. To be honest with you, this morning I felt so down, that I didn’t even bother to take a bath. I just got dressed, brushed my teeth and gave my crazy and insane dog some cheddar cheese, which he loves in the morning and changed his water. I know that I have a great and very loving family, which includes my crazy dog too. A good paying job with great benefits and great co-workers, but still, sometimes I feel as if there is something missing. I feel as is everything is just falling on top of me and I can’t get away from it all. I just feel like crying for no apparent reason or just screaming my lungs out.

Sometimes I look around and I just feel empty inside. I just want something more, but I just can’t seem to put my finger on what it is that I want out of life. It’s just like if I want to do things, but then again, I don’t have the energy or will to get off of my ass and do those things. Sometimes I just find life to be so fucking boring. As I have said many, many times before… I feel as if I’m stuck in a fucking hamster wheel. Everyday is just the same old shit. Nothing new, just the same old shit, day in and day out. I know that this feeling will eventually pass, but it really sucks feeling like this. Plus, I will be seeing my shrink Dr. C tomorrow, so I’ll just hang on.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!