Why I Don’t Get Involved

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First things first my homies and homettes! Wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. Enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what goes down.

For those of my loyal 1.5 readers that might not know by now, I have always been the baby of the family, because I have six sister who are older than me, but no brothers. One thing that I did learn at an early age was, that no matter how much I love them, I should not to get involved in their lives. By that, I mean their personal, love and family lives. I’ve always said, that I don’t get involved in other people’s lives, so they won’t get involved in mine. Even when family, friends and co-workers have asked me for advise, I stay away from that shit, because in the future, if something goes wrong, I don’t want no fucking body, pointing their fucking finger at me and saying… that’s the bad guy.

People who know me well, know that if they are looking for advise or an opinion, I’m the wrong person to come to. Don’t get me wrong, I’m an excellent listener, it’s just that I don’t get involved in other people’s shit. Thinking about it now, there are exceptions to my rule, they are my wife and our two kids, but only if they ask for my advise or opinion, other than that, I stay quiet, because all three of them are adults, who know what is right and what is wrong. So, I refuse to nag them to death.

Peace out, and with that said! I am Audi 5000 Y’all!

A Blog About NOTHING!

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First things first my homies and homettes! Wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. Enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what goes down.

To be honest with my loyal 1.5 readers, I really can’t remember when the hell, did I ever got into blogging… even if my life depended on it. Many years ago, I did start a whole bunch of crazy websites and blogs about different niches, but I never took them seriously, because I was just bored and didn’t have nothing better to do. The one thing that I do remember clearly was, that I wanted to imitate successful bloggers, especially the ones that I saw being interviewed on TV. And I sure don’t have to tell you how that turned out.

Well, many years of fucking around and wasting my time with my own stupid websites and blogs, I came to understand, that just like in real life, I had to be myself and come up with something that I liked and felt comfortable with. You know, my own personal space, where I could say and post whatever the fuck I wanted to, whenever the fuck I wanted to and use any language that I fucking wanted to… Alright, alright, alright, as long as I was only posting shit about me and not posting shit about others, I was going to be OK. Then Voilà! I came up with this crazy, insane, boring and weird blog of mine. I like to say that this is where I can get my intrusive thoughts, racing thoughts and other crazy shits out of my head and on to something. In other words, I use this blog as a kind of therapy, to be able to let some steam out by posting about anything and everything. Hence, a blog about NOTHING!

Peace out my homies and homettes!

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

The Happy Broke Man

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Photo by Negative Space on Pexels.com

First things first my homies and homettes! Wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. Enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what goes down.

OK, as my loyal 1.5 readers might know by now, I’m not your average blogger. You know, the type that tries show off to his readers by posting pictures of his expensive vacations, cars, homes and other shits. Reminding his reader time after time, how he is successful, and they are not, because he is living the perfect life with his perfect family. Yet behind the scene, his whole life is falling apart. He’s going through a fucked divorce, because his wife cheated on him with his twin brother. Junior is a drug dealer / drug addict and little Samantha is a stripper / prostitute. He might even be living in a rat, roach and bedbug infested dilapidated motel room, while having cup a soup with cold water from the dirty motel bathroom sink, for breakfast, lunch and dinner, 7 days a week. Hey look, I love cup a soup, but 7 days a week?… that’s just a little too much for me.

Meanwhile, back in The Batcave! Since I had to pay my car insurance last weekend, I am broke like a motherfucker. Yes, you read that right my homies and homettes. This week, I’m one broke son of a bitch! But don’t worry, I’m not asking for donations or a GoFundMe page either. Do you know what’s funny about the entire situation? That I’m happy! Even though I’m broke as broke can be, for some weird reason, since last week, I’ve been feeling happier and smiling more than usual. To be honest with you, I really don’t know what the fuck is going on, since I take my crazy meds every day. Who knows, maybe it’s just the calm before the storm… You know… Before my Bipolar depression sets in and kicks the living shit out of me. Whatever the fuck is going on with my brain right now, I’m riding this shit to the end.

Peace out my homies and homettes!

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

 

The American Adult Babies

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First things first my homies and homettes! Wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. Enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what goes down.

Even though there is a lot of shit going and a lot of social problems that are not being addressed in the America right now. The other morning as I was getting ready to head on out to the salt mines, I came across a news story about how Bloomingdale pulled a “Fake news” shirt off their shelves, only because “one” reporter was offended and tweeted about it. To be honest with you, some people really need to get their fucking heads out of their assholes and buy a little sense of humor.

Hey look, I know, and I am proud, that here in America, we have freedom of speech, but I personally think, that lately, more and more adults are acting like babies. Anything and everything stinks to them, nothing smells good. They are just looking around, trying to find something to complain, bitch and moan about. Actually, that’s one of the many reasons why I deleted my Facebook, Google Plus and Twitter accounts. I just got tired of all the nonsense and bullshit being posted and how many people kept complaining about any little unimportant fucking shit.

The way that I personally see it is, that some people are unhappy with the way that their lives are going and so they want to fuck it up for everyone else, just because. Hey look, from time to time, I too have my bad days, but I sure don’t go around fucking it up for others.

Peace out my homies and homettes!

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

♫♪ Let It Flow ♫♪ Let It Flow ♫♪ Let It Flow ♫♪

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What up! What up! What up my homies and homettes!? OK, so today I had to take a vacation day from the salt mines, since yesterday, half way through the day, I started what The Assman calls “A 1 1/2 days bowel preparation”, ahead of Wednesday’s colonoscopy. Woo-Hoo! You have to keep in mind that this is a first for me, since I was going to get my first colonoscopy next year, when I turn 50. Lucky for me, that a good friend of mine, who is also a stupidvisor at the salt mines, advised me not to go into to work today, since I need to be very, and I don’t know how to emphasize this, but very close to a toilet at all times. I mean, I could work from the toilet, if they provide me with a laptop connected to the company’s WiFi and a wireless work phone. I just don’t know how the customers will feel and or react, when I’m talking to them about their bills, and then suddenly, they hear the sound of an upside down volcanic eruption.

To be honest with my loyal 1.5 readers, I’m not afraid of the colonoscopy, I just hate having to drink so much fucking liquid and not being able to eat any solid food for two fucking days. As a matter of fact, when I got home from the salt mines yesterday, I told my wife that I was thinking about calling The Assman’s office, to ask his assistant, if during these two days without eating solids, if at least I’m allowed to eat pussy? If you knew my wife, after 31 years of taking my shit, she has become an expert at ignoring my nonsense. But I do have to wonder, if asked, was The Assman’s assistant going to be able to answer my question, or was she going to have to get back to me on that? You see, those are the kind of questions that make me go… HMMMMM!

One last thing out of the top of my head kids. I personally and truly believe that people who are sneezing due to allergies, shouldn’t be allowed to take laxatives. I’m just throwing it out there.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!