My Psychiatric Disorders, My Jokes

raf,750x1000,075,t,fafafa ca443f4786.u2.jpg

What up! What up! What up! What up y’all! I Just hope that wherever you are, you are having a great morning, afternoon, evening or night. As always, enjoy your Saturday to the fullest and don’t let nobody, and I mean absolutely nobody fuck it up for you, no matter what happens. Today marks my tenth day without drinking since my last binge and I feel like Tony the Tiger… GRRRRREAT! Don’t get me wrong, I know that I will drink again, it’s just that I feel that I really have to take long breaks between the weekends that I drink and the weekends that I don’t… that’s all. Because if I say that I will never drink again in my entire life, I will be lying to my loyal 1.5 readers.

On a funny mental health note! Two things for sure are, that I have a gigantic sense of humor and that I have always loved comedy like crazy. I also like to make jokes and laugh at my multiple psychiatric disorders, specially my OCD. Now!… The thing that really irritates the shit out of me are people who don’t suffer from any psychiatric disorder and think that it is OK to make fun of those who suffer from them. For example, there are the people who keep saying that they are “so OCD”. REALLY MOTHERFUCKER? REALLY? The thing is, that even when I laugh, I laugh at myself and “my psychiatric disorders”, I don’t laugh at and make jokes about other who suffer from the same disorders as I do. That’s why maybe, just maybe, my loyal 1.5 readers, might have noticed that when I post about my disorders I always say “My OCD”, “My Bipolar II Disorder” and “My Social Anxiety Disorder”. Because I am referring only to “my disorders”.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

My Social Anxiety Really Sucks!

TTV - SAD - 1

What up! What up! What up! What up y’all! Happy hump day and I hope that wherever you are in this crazy and insane planet of ours, you are having a great morning, noon, evening or night. Whatever applies to you. Remember to enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens. As for today at work, I will be on the dreaded phone. I like my job, it’s just that I hate taking calls. Don’t get me wrong, it’s like I tell people all the time, when I worked at the call center for two years, I was traumatized. That’s why I hate it so much. But it is what it is.

On a dreaming note! Since the mid 80’s I’ve always enjoyed being a bedroom DJ. But there are times, when I dream of mixing in a well-known club to a large crowd. Back in the days I used to sell my mixed tapes, I was the official DJ for my friend’s house parties and I was also one of the best DJs in my neighborhood. The thing is, that it’s only a dream, because due to my social anxiety disorder, I couldn’t address a group of five complete strangers, even if my life depended on it. The Prozac has helped me a lot, but there are still situations that get me anxious and nervous. That’s the reason why I enjoy mixing House music in my bedroom. Plus no drunk people will ever bother me, requesting that I play their stupid special songs.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

When I Met Another OCD Sufferer

TTV - OCD - 26

Good morning and happy Tuesday y’all! Like always, I hope that you are having a great morning, noon, evening or night depending on where you find yourself at this moment in time in this crazy planet of ours. Also, don’t forget to enjoy your day to the fullest and please, do not let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens.

On a OCD note! I think that it’s really funny, that I have suffered from OCD for as far back as I can remember, yet I’ve only met someone else who suffers from it in person only once. I have to say, that it was a really cool experience for me, because as soon as we started to talk about our OCD at my first shrink’s office, there was an instant click or better yet, I felt as if I knew this person for a very long time. We started telling each other what our OCD made us do and the crazy intrusive thoughts that we had. I never thought that I would meet someone like that in my entire life. Someone who I had so many similarities with. I think that it was the first and last time in my life, that I actually felt comfortable talking about all the crazy things about my OCD. You have to understand, that I find that the hardest part about my OCD, is actually telling someone my crazy, insane, ugly and violent intrusive thoughts. It’s even hard to talk to my shrink about them. For a while, I thought about attending or joining a OCD support group here in New York City, but my work schedule and personal life won’t allow me to. Right now, I’m looking for an online group. If you know of a good one, please let me know.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Me, Myself And My OCD

TTV - OCD - 1.jpg

Good morning and happy Monday y’all! I know what you are thinking right about now… Who the fuck has a happy Monday Tony? I have to tell you, I do hate Mondays too, but that is only because I have to get back on the old hamster wheel again. To me, Mondays feel like the first day back to work from a short vacation. But like always, I hope that you are having a great morning, noon, evening or night depending on where you find yourself at this moment in time in this crazy planet of ours. Also, don’t forget to enjoy your day to the fullest and please, do not let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens.

On a OCD note! The other day, for some weird reason, I started to think about the time when I was a kid growing up with OCD. Because of my violent intrusive thoughts, I was always afraid that I was going to snap and hurt myself or others. It wasn’t just the being afraid, it was also the anxiety that it created. I can’t explain how, but for some reason, I knew that I was different compared to my friends. I also thought that I was going to touch someone inappropriately, hurt someone, rape someone or even murder someone. The graphic and detailed images that came with the violent thoughts, were horrible to say the least. Most of the time, I was anxious, afraid or nervous about anything and everything, because my OCD always told me, that something bad was going to happen, especially to me and or loved ones. I guess that what I’m trying to say is, that if you know or meet someone who suffers from OCD, keep in mind, that no matter what happens, that person will never act out his/her intrusive thoughts.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

The Risperidone Side Effect

 

TTV - Crazy Meds - 1.jpeg

Good morning and happy Saturday y’all! As always, I hope that you are having a great morning, noon, evening or night depending on where you find yourself at this moment in time in this crazy planet of ours. Also, don’t forget to enjoy your day to the fullest and please, do not let nobody mess it up for you no matter what happens. Remember to say good morning, good night, please, thank you, hello and goodbye with a smile on your face… trust me it won’t kill you. Unless you say it to a serial killer!

First things first!… For those of my loyal two or three readers who might not know by now, Risperidone is an atypical antipsychotic drug that in my case, was prescribed to me, in order to keep my bipolar II disorder mood swings under control. The thing is, that even though I have been taking it once a day for a couple of weeks now and only at night, compared to before when I took it twice a day and I was falling asleep at work, right now I’m still waking up in the morning feeling drowsy. I’ve noticed that it stays in my system for around twelve hours or so. My problem is, that I can’t take it at 5:00 pm because I have things to do when I get home from work at around 5:15 pm… I can’t even do that on the weekends. Yesterday, the only solution that I came up with, was taking half a pill instead of an entire one. I guess I’ll just have to go with that plan for a couple of days and see how it goes with the drowsiness and my mood. Fingers crossed! Then I’ll let my shrink Dr. C know about it, when I see him again in our next session. I know that he will understand, because he always works with me with everything that I need.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Don’t Listen To The Fucking Noise

TTV - Mental Health - 3

Good morning and happy Sunday y’all! I know! I know! I know! I know! I know! You need Sundays like you need a hole in your head… Right? Hey! Just look at the bright side… we get to do it all over again! So if you fucked up big time yesterday, you get another chance to clean up your shit today and try it again. Woo! Hoo!… Like always, I hope that you are having a great morning, noon, evening or night depending on where you find yourself at this moment in time in this crazy planet of ours. Also, don’t forget to enjoy your day to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you, no matter what happens.

On a mental health note! I personally feel that telling someone who is suffering from a mental illness to just get over it, is like telling someone in a wheelchair, that they are just too lazy to get up and walk. It just fucking irritates the shit out of me. Another thing that really bothers me is, when I hear someone say that people don’t need a shrink or even crazy meds to deal with their mental illness. They just have to face life the same way that everyone else is doing it. Now who the fuck died and made that asshole a doctor? Hey look! Only because I can’t feel someone else’s pain, doesn’t mean that they are not in pain. And only because I feel healthy, doesn’t mean that someone else is not sick. My point?  Fuck whatever negative shit others say about your mental health. Only you, your shrink and or other mental health care provider, know what’s really good for you and what will help you in the long run. So please… stop listening to all that fucking noise!

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

My Mental Health: The Hypocrites

TTV - Mental Health - 1.jpg

Good morning and happy Saturday my peeps! Like always, I hope that you are having a great morning, noon, evening or night depending on where you find yourself at this moment in time in this crazy planet of ours. Also, don’t forget to enjoy yourself to the fullest, and please..do not let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens.

On a mental health note! It’s funny how I’ve been dealing with Bipolar II disorder, depression, OCD and Social Anxiety Disorder since as far back as I can remember. But when I was finally diagnosed around thirteen years ago, some of my family members and friends didn’t like the idea that I was open about it in social networking sites. They didn’t understand, that I was trying to finally find and connect with others like me. THAT WAS THEN… THIS IS NOW! To be honest with you, the shit that really bothers the fuck out of me today is, that when a celebrity reveals that he/she has been diagnosed and is suffering from some mental disorder, the support pours out from all over the fucking world. I have even seen some of the same people who tried to silence me around thirteen years ago, now feel sorry for those celebrities. FUCKING HYPOCRITES! The good thing is, that I never listened to those people. I kept posting and talking about my multiple mental disorders, crazy meds and therapy. My whole point is, that you have to do what you think is best for you… as long as you are not being a dick or an asshole to others. Just be yourself. Another thing about me is, that I hate following the leaders. When I do something, it’s only because I want to do it, not because I was told to or I saw someone else doing it. Be true to yourself.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!