Karma Is Bullshit

TTV - Karma - 1

I used to believe in Karma, but for a while now, I’ve noticed that the whole thing is plain and simple bullshit. I’ve seen a lot of people, who for one reason or another, choose to live a fucked-up life, then when all their shit starts to catch up with them, people say that it’s Karma… not it’s not. It’s just that their bullshit, finally caught up with them.

Hey look, I’m not perfect, but as an adult, there shouldn’t be a need, for others to tell me that I’m fucking-up all the time. Just like the person before and after me, I will make many mistakes in life, but if I keep making the same mistakes over and over again, then I’m just being a stupid asshole and that shit will eventually catch up with me. Call it whatever the fuck you want, but don’t call it Karma.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 Y’all!

Evidence Of My Last Binge

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First things first my homies and homettes! Wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. Enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what goes down.

OK, I must admit, that this shit is fucking funny, yet sad, because even though I have been sober for a little over three weeks, a couple of days ago, my wife was looking for something in my armoire… Why? I don’t know! But she found what I will refer to as, the last evidence of my last weekend binge. OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! I know that by now, my loyal 1.5 readers, might be asking themselves. What the fuck was an empty bottle of beer doing in your armoire Tony? I have to say, that is a good and legitimate question. So here I go.

You see, my wife doesn’t have a problem with me drinking per se, since I only drink on the weekends and at home. But the problem is, that as soon as I have the first beer, all bets are off, because I will start drinking none stop, from Friday evening, all the way to Sunday night. So, since she doesn’t want me drinking on Sundays, I’ll look for any stupid excuse, to go out to the grocery store and buy a couple of beers. The thing is, that I can’t put them in the refrigerator, because she always finds them there and pour them down the drain. So, what are the best places for an alcoholic like me, to hide his beers from his wife? Drum roll please! Armoires, closets, nightstands and laundry hampers. Hey look, don’t laugh, it really took me many, many, many years, many trials an error and a lot of hard work, for me to perfect my hiding skills and eventually, become a professional at hiding alcohol all over the apartment from my wife. Don’t worry my alcoholic brothers and sisters, my book “Agent Double O Alky: How to kill your liver quietly” will be available on Amazon very soon. If you provide your alky card, you will receive a discount on your purchase, so you can buy alcohol with the saved money.

Peace out, and with that said! I am Audi 5000 Y’all!

Why Blueface And Bluebody Are Racist

First things first my homies and homettes! Wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. Enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what goes down.

OK, as my loyal 1.5 readers might know by now, there has been a lot of racist controversy going on in The U.S. for the last couple of years. From pictures, videos, to publicly made comments made by celebrities, politicians and others. To be honest with you, I might be crazy, but I’m not stupid. I’ve seen what has been going on for so many years, yet nobody has spoken publicly out about it… except for me… HERE AND NOW! What am I referring to? Blueface and Bluebody! Yes, that’s right! Blueface and Bluebody! You see, Blueface and Bluebody are a form of theatrical make-up used predominantly by non-blue performers to represent a caricature of The Smurfs.

Today’s Blueface and Bluebody wearers may claim that they don’t believe in the biological inferiority of Smurfs, but their insistence on blue makeup in these portrayals, especially since the makeup job is usually deliberately unrealistic, is evidence of their ongoing, racist over-assessment of the significance of skin color differences. In this way, Blueface and Bluebody are dehumanizing. I know for a fact, that Papa Smurf and the rest of The Smurfs are on board and agree with me 1000%, that Blueface and Bluebody are fucking racist.

Please people! Stop the hate and racism against The Smurfs! Stop the fucking Blueface and Bluebody already!

#SmurfLivesMatter #SmurfsToo

Peace out my homies and homettes!

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Please! Please! No Awards!

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Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

Wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours my homies and homettes, good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. Enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what goes down.

On an award note! Call me crazy, insane, stupid, dumb or naive, but I have never been able to understand awards given to people for doing their jobs. Why? Well, the way that I see it is like this. I get paid to do my job 40 hours a week at the salt mines. So why should I expect to receive an award from my employer, for doing my FUCKING JOB? REALLY! I mean, I can understand if I do volunteer work or something that wasn’t in my job description, like I did a couple of years ago at the salt mines, when our department was moving and instead of waiting for the slow IT department to send someone to move the computers and set them up, they had me do it, because I know a thing or two about computers. But trust me, I wasn’t expecting extra pay or an award. I just did it because ever since I saved enough money to buy my first computer, back in the 80’s, I’ve always been fascinated by them, plus I was helping my co-worker… OK, I was also justified for not being on the dreaded phone… There, I said it!

My thing is, that I’m tired of seeing how year after year, artists keep receiving awards for a career that they chose and a job that they got paid to do in the first place. Even when I go above and beyond at the salt mines and in my personal life, all that I get is a thank you… I don’t know about you, but trust me, that’s good enough for me. I don’t expect, need or want an award or recognition to make me feel good about myself. I feel happy by just being there and being able to help others, in the salt mines and elsewhere. Hey look, if I get an award for something extraordinary that I did, fine. But I don’t go around helping others and doing things, in order to get recognition. That’s just not my style.

Peace out my homies and homettes!

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!