Evidence Of My Last Binge

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First things first my homies and homettes! Wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. Enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what goes down.

OK, I must admit, that this shit is fucking funny, yet sad, because even though I have been sober for a little over three weeks, a couple of days ago, my wife was looking for something in my armoire… Why? I don’t know! But she found what I will refer to as, the last evidence of my last weekend binge. OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! I know that by now, my loyal 1.5 readers, might be asking themselves. What the fuck was an empty bottle of beer doing in your armoire Tony? I have to say, that is a good and legitimate question. So here I go.

You see, my wife doesn’t have a problem with me drinking per se, since I only drink on the weekends and at home. But the problem is, that as soon as I have the first beer, all bets are off, because I will start drinking none stop, from Friday evening, all the way to Sunday night. So, since she doesn’t want me drinking on Sundays, I’ll look for any stupid excuse, to go out to the grocery store and buy a couple of beers. The thing is, that I can’t put them in the refrigerator, because she always finds them there and pour them down the drain. So, what are the best places for an alcoholic like me, to hide his beers from his wife? Drum roll please! Armoires, closets, nightstands and laundry hampers. Hey look, don’t laugh, it really took me many, many, many years, many trials an error and a lot of hard work, for me to perfect my hiding skills and eventually, become a professional at hiding alcohol all over the apartment from my wife. Don’t worry my alcoholic brothers and sisters, my book “Agent Double O Alky: How to kill your liver quietly” will be available on Amazon very soon. If you provide your alky card, you will receive a discount on your purchase, so you can buy alcohol with the saved money.

Peace out, and with that said! I am Audi 5000 Y’all!

Saturday With La Jefa

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Wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours my homies and homettes, good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. I hope that you enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what goes down.

As for me? I really can’t complain about my weekend. Yesterday, as usual, La Jefa (A Female Boss = My Wife) an I drove around running our Saturday errands. Hey look, even though some men might think that I’m crazy by admitting this, but I really enjoy the alone time with La Jefa, because we get to talk a lot and catch up on somethings. When we got home, I had something to eat, took a nap, walked my baby, watched TV and wrote this post while listening to House music. Some people might find that to be a boring day, but as long as I got my evening free to do whatever the fuck I wanted to, even if I was just scratching my balls and ass the rest of the evening, I was OK with that. That’s the main reason why I like to take care of everything early in the day on weekends.

In other news, I’m happy to say that I didn’t drink any alcohol this weekend, which makes it my 2nd sober weekend. WOO-HOO! I have to admit, that without a fucked up hangover, today I feel like Tony the tiger… Grrrrreat! The way that I have always looked at is, that I have to keep my crazy mind busy on the weekends, in order to stay away from the destructive stinking thinking and weekend binge drinking fiascos. Other than that, I’m good to go.

Peace out my homies and homettes!

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!