Happy Father’s Day… You Alki!

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Well, I guess after all of my fuck ups in the last twelves months, I made it again to another so-called father’s day. You see, the thing about me is, that I feel that I shouldn’t be allowed to celebrate father’s day. As a husband and as a father, I feel that I have fucked up with my weekend binge drinking. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m not the type of person that goes out to bars, in order to get drunk and have a good time. As a matter of fact, I don’t even get violent, I just like to have fun when I get drunk. I like to stay home, have conversations, joke around with family and friends, watch TV and or listen to music while I drink.

Throughout the years, my wife and kids have told me, that they don’t have a problem with me drinking. They only have a problem with how much I drink, since I binge drink for a day or two on the weekends. Looking back now, I’ve realized that even though I binge drink every couple of weekends, the reality of it all is, that I haven’t been a bad father to my kids. One thing for sure is, that at a very young age, I told them that no matter what I was doing, whenever they wanted to talk to me, I was always available for them. And trust me, they have seen the proof, the many times that they had something on their mind and wanted to talk to me. I guess I’m just kicking myself in the ass over nothing.

Happy father’s day, to all you alki‘s out there!

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

June Session With My Shrink

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Today after work, I will be seeing my shrink Dr. C. The whole thing is a good thing and a bad thing at the same time. Why is it a good thing? Because even though I only see him once a month, I really enjoy talk therapy, and when I leave his office, I feel like if a thousand pounds were lifted off of my shoulders. Why is it a bad thing? Because my wife called him last week and talked to him about my weekend binge drinking, which he already knows about, but I don’t know what my wife had told him. I did called him yesterday, to confirm our session on June 14th and I asked him if in fact, my wife had called him, at which time he said yes.

The thing is, that when I started to see him around eight years ago, I signed a paper, that says, that he can give my wife any information that she requests. Why? Because I have been with her for so many years, that she might actually know me better than… ME! To be honest, I’m not nervous, because I really like him and I have always liked the way that he treats and works with me. I just hope that I don’t get sent to the loony bin though. Fingers crossed. Bwahahahahaha!

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Honesty… My Best Policy

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First things first my peeps! Wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, good morning, good afternoon, good evening and good night. As always, try to enjoy your Wednesday to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens.

On an honesty note! It’s funny how I’ve been with my wife for thirty years and only a couple of years ago, I was able to figure out, that the best thing for me to do in our relationship, is just for me to be honest with my wife whenever I fuck up. Keep in mind, that it doesn’t matter how small my fuck up is, I just have to be honest with her. I’m not saying that only because I’m honest, everything is forgotten, but at least it helps letting her know, that it wasn’t my intention to fuck up in the first place, that it was an honest mistake. That doesn’t also mean that I will go around fucking up left and right, just because I’m being honest with my wife. It only means, that I will learn from my mistakes and make sure that I do not repeat them again. I have to say, that sometimes it’s not easy, because she gets mad at me. But the good thing is, that I don’t go around lying to the love of my life. Plus, she’s the most understanding person that I have known in my entire life.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Back To The Salt Mines!

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What up! What up! What up! What up y’all! Wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, I hope that you are having a good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. As always, enjoy your Monday to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens.

On a sober note! Today I’m sober yet another day and I am feeling like a million dollars… no hangover, no cold sweats, no shakes, no vomiting, no shit out of whack in my entire body from the alcohol withdrawal. Right now I am going back to the salt mines after being out for five days, which is good, I just have to get back into the rhythm of things or better yet, I have to get back on the hamster wheel again. But that’s nothing. The most important thing is, that unlike millions of Americans right now who are looking for work but can’t find none… I have a job and that is what matters the most. The rest is just bullshit and technicalities.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Motherfucking Ugly Ass Sneakers

 

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A pair of Louis Vuitton ugly sneakers go for $1,090.00.

First things first my peeps! Wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, good morning, good afternoon, good evening and good night. As always, try to enjoy your Saturday to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens.

On an ugly sneakers note! I think that by now, my loyal 1.5 readers have figured out, that I’m not into trends, fashion or none of that bullshit. In the morning I just like to throw on a T-shirt or a polo shirt, jeans and sneakers and go out and do what I have to do. Other than that, I just don’t give a shit. I know that I tell everybody to be themselves… but this ugly sneaker trend bullshit is fucking ridiculous.  Hey look, I like being myself, but that doesn’t mean that family and friends shouldn’t let me know, when I’m making an ass out of myself. One thing is looking nice and another is looking like a fucking idiot. But not only that… spending hundreds or even thousands of dollars on stupid ass looking motherfucking ugly sneakers. I don’t know about you, but I usually spend between fifty and sixty dollars on regular sneakers. The most that I would spend on a pair of sneakers would be one-hundred dollars and they would have to be classics from the 80’s. Other than that… FUCK THAT SHIT!

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

TGIF Y’all!

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What up! What up! What up! What up y’all! Wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, I hope that you are having a good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. As always, enjoy your Friday to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens.

On a happy Friday note! Today I am happy as happy can be, and that is because I’m schedule to do what I love to do the most at work, which is working on the email and faxes that come in everyday. Don’t get me wrong, it’s not as easy as it sounds. I do have to look at a lot of accounts and issue orders on some of them, but as long as I keep on top of things, I’m OK. My trick is, to get a head start early in the morning. Then I just keep checking every few minutes, to keep on top of it.

On a drinking note! Drinking this weekend… it’s not going to happen. I had a good time with my family and friends last weekend, because it was a three days weekend. So right now, I’m looking at staying away from alcohol, until a family event comes up or another three days weekend comes by or I take a vacation day together with my weekend and trust me,  right now, I’m trying to save my vacation days for emergencies only. So I don’t see that happening any time soon.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

I Hate The Phone Thursday

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First things first my peeps! Wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, good morning, good afternoon, good evening and good night. As always, enjoy your Wednesday to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens, why it happens, how it happens or where it happens.

On a work note! One thing for sure is that today I am not going to be that happy at work, because as you can see on my work schedule, I am on the dreaded phone. I mean, I really can’t complain, because my supervisor did tell me that she gave a break from the phone on Tuesday and Wednesday, but I still hate the fucking phone. I think it’s not about dealing with different government agencies and a few customer calls a day. It’s more about handling the calls while trying to process government payments and doing other things at the same time. I just hate the multitasking aspect of it all, because I have made mistakes in the past and I hate having to stop one thing half way, then to go back to it and try to figure out where I left off. Like they say… it is what it is. Plus what really matters is, that it pays the bills.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!