Different Is Good

A long time ago, a few of my sisters, told my wife, that when I was a little kid, I was always driving them crazy, by asking them questions about anything and everything. I always wanted to know who invented what, why and how. Keep in mind, that back in 1975, we didn’t have the internet, let alone search engines. All that we had were encyclopedias, but as with color television sets, not every family could afford them. 

Anyways… I still remember one specific day, when I was around four or five years old and was watching TV with my father in the living room. I wanted to know who invented the television set and the camera that they used to televise the programs. But as crazy as it might sound to you today, what I really wanted to know was. What came first, the TV camera or the TV set? And how did the person knew, how to invent one, without having the other? Remember, I was only four or five years old at the time. But til this day, every time that I tell someone or think about the story, it puts a smile on  my face, because after my father tried very hard to answer all of my questions, he got so frustrated, that he just yelled out “I DON’T KNOW!”. But don’t worry, he didn’t discourage me from being curious at all.

Right now I’m forty-nine years old and I’m still asking questions, the difference is, that the internet and search engines have helped me learn and understand a lot of things, that others are not interested in or are too afraid to even ask about. My point is, that if you ever come across a person who is always asking a lot of complicated, strange and or weird questions, don’t dismiss, push to the side, ignore, make fun of or even think that the person is crazy or weird. As a matter of fact, when my son was a little kid, just like me, he asked a lot of questions. The thing about it was, that I understood him 100%, because I saw my young self in him.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Tony’s Not So Expert Advice

TTV - Birthday Baby Candle Burn - 1.gif

First things first my hermanos and hermanas from another madre! Wherever you are in this crazy, funny, insane, strange, weird and all put together in an unlabeled bottle, planet of ours, good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. As always, enjoy it to the fullest and do not to let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens. Also, remember to be yourself, but keep in mind, not to be a dick or an asshole to others, because we are already filled to capacity with those and we won’t be able to handle another one.

On a sober note! Today is Saturday November 17, 2018 and that means that I have been sober for four months and thirty days or even better yet, one hundred fifty-two days in total. I have to say, that sobriety has really helped me deal with my anxiety, bipolar II disorder, depression and OCD. I really feel fucking great!

For those of you out there in the blogosphere, AKA my loyal 1.5 readers, who might not know it, my wife and I officially started dating exactly on October 2, 1987 (She has made sure that I never forget that date). Back then she was fifteen and I was seventeen. As a matter of fact, just last month, on October 2, 2018, we celebrated our thirty-first anniversary. Woo-Hoo!

Hey look, to be honest with you, we are proud, happy and still very much in love after all these years. But just like any other young couple, at first we had a lot of ups and downs. But trust me, I don’t regret anything, because as we were getting used to being young parents and living together, we learned a lot about each other.

As you might know by now, I’m no expert, but there are a few things that I can tell young couples, that I wished I was told back in the days, but was not.

  1. Respect each another.
  2. Trust each other.
  3. If something about you is bothering your partner, listen, then fix it.
  4. If something about your partner is bothering you, say something, because humans can’t read minds.
  5. Once is a mistake. Twice is a pattern. Three times is a habit.
  6. Nobody wears the so-called pants in the home.
  7. Regardless of sex and or income, a relationship is 50/50.
  8. It takes two people to procreate babies and also two to take care of them.
  9. Always include your partner in every decision, no matter how meaningless, you might think it is.
  10. If you didn’t understand something that your partner did or say, say something.
  11. Value your partner’s opinion and input, don’t dismiss them, just because.
  12. Put yourself in your partner’s shoes.
  13. Be open-minded.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Where I Come From?

TTV - Vega - 1

Throughout my forty-nine years of life, unlike many people who I have met, I have never lied to anyone about where I was born and or where I come from. As a matter of fact, I have met numerous people, who have constantly lied about where they were born, their education and previous jobs. Like if I really gave a fuck and would treat them different, based on their lies. Even though my father moved the family from The Dominican Republic to Puerto Rico when I was only three years old, I’ve always been proud of my country, but specially the neighborhood that I was born in. I still have a maternal aunt and uncle back home who I keep in contact with and every couple of years, when I go on vacation with my wife, not only do I make sure that I visit them, but I make my uncle walk me around the neighborhood and show me my birthplace.

My point is, that I just can’t understand why some people, for one reason or another, can’t accept where they were born and where they come from. As a matter of fact, I remember that back in the 90’s, I met a new neighbor of ours, who we later found out, was born in a Central American country, but always swore that he was born in Puerto Rico. As a matter of fact, he always emulated the Spanish Puerto Rican accent. Till this day, whenever I see him, he still plays the role. The funny thing about is, that we found out about his true nationality by accident, because one day, his aunt, who lived elsewhere, was trying to locate his apartment. When she described him to another one of our neighbors, that neighbor asked her, if she was looking for the new Puerto Rican neighbor that had recently moved into the building. That’s when she told the person, his true nationality. But trust me, he was not the first and was not the last person, that I have seen doing that.

The thing about me is, that I don’t have any respect at all, for any person who tries to hide their nationality or race. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that people should go around, rubbing it on other people’s face. But they shouldn’t go around trying to be what they are not.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

I’m Not In A Popularity Contest

First things first my brothers and sisters! Wherever you are in this crazy, funny, insane, strange and weird planet of ours, good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. As always, enjoy it to the fullest and do not to let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens. Also, remember to be nice to others, because we already have a lot of assholes in the world, we sure don’t need another one. 

On a sober note! Today is Thursday November 15, 2018 and that means that I have been sober for four months and twenty-eight days or even better yet, one hundred-fifty days in total. The truth is, that since I’ve been sober for so many months, I have been able to get my anxiety, bipolar II disorder and OCD under control. I really feel fucking awesome.

On  a blogging note! Not for nothing, but I really can’t understand, why some people follow this crazy, boring, dumb, stupid, yet insane blog of mine, as a way to get me to follow their blogs back. The thing that most people don’t understand is, that this crazy blog of mine, doesn’t pay my bills. I have a full time job that does that. Plus you can say that I use this crazy and boring blog of mine, as therapy, in order to get a lot of shit out of my head and on to something. I guess that what I’m trying to say is, that I didn’t get into blogging, because I wanted to be in a popularity contest. Hey look! Ever since I was a little kid, I never looked for or even needed approval or attention from nobody. Trust me, now that I’m forty-nine years old, I don’t need or want that shit either.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Happy Fake Monday!

The first stitch that came off.

First things first my homies and homettes! Wherever you are in this crazy, funny, insane, strange and weird planet of ours, good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. As always, I hope that you enjoy it to the fullest and remember, do not to let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens or what goes down.

On a sober note! Today is Tuesday November 13, 2018 and that means that I have been sober for 4 months and 26 days or better yet, 148 days in total. Woo-Hoo! I feel like Tony the fucking tiger… GRRRRREAT!

Today is what I like to call “fake Monday”. Why do I call it that? Because I was off from the salt mine yesterday, due to veteran’s day, so even if today is Tuesday, it still is my first day back to work after the weekend, so it feels like a fucking Monday. I mean, I really shouldn’t be complaining, because after all, this is going to be a four-day work week, which no matter what today feels like, is better than a five-day work week anytime.

On a dental extraction update! I have to say, that since the five molar extractions last Friday, I’ve only experienced a small amount of pain, not even close to what I thought was going to be my four-day weekend from hell. I’m still taking the Ibuprofen every couple of hours, since it’s only been four days since the surgeon did the procedure, but I will eventually stop taking it, when the pain is completely gone. As for the stitches, they both came out yesterday, lucky for me, that I wasn’t eating while that happened. As a matter of fact, I showed them to my wife, just to fuck with her, and she was disgusted by it. I really don’t know why, since they were simply two pieces of thread, with no blood or flesh on them. As a matter of fact, I included a picture of the first one that came out, on the top of this post. Can you explain to me, what is so disgusting about it?

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Famous For Nothing

woman in black long dress standing on the pavement
Photo by Loe Moshkovska on Pexels.com

I remember that back in the days, when some kids were asked what they wanted to be when they grew up, they would say rich and famous. The thing about that answer is, that being an extremely shy person my entire life, I could never understand how so many people just wanted to be famous. My thing is, that I’ve never liked being the center of attention or even getting any attention at all. Even in school, I remember sitting in the back of the classroom, just so the teachers wouldn’t call on me. I recall one of my teachers, telling my mother, that I was a very intelligent student, but that even if I knew the answer to a question, I would never raise my hand. Back then, what nobody knew, including myself was, that I suffered from social anxiety disorder.

Another thing that has been baffling me for many, many, many years now is, how so many young people now a days, just want to be famous for being famous. To be honest with you, I don’t have a problem with someone becoming rich and famous either because the person had a talent like Michael Jackson did or because the person contributed something positive to humanity one way or the other, like Bill Gates did. But for someone to want to be rich and famous for no reason? Is something that I will never fucking understand. I’ve always told family and friends, that if I ever become a millionaire, by winning the lottery, some people will see me as a really strange millionaire, because I would continue to be the same person that I am today, because I wouldn’t go around getting in trouble by doing dumb ass shit in public in order to get attention, wearing expensive clothes, jewelry, driving expensive cars and throwing money on people’s face. In other words, I would keep my shit on the lowdown and real.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Pain Management


Happy Sunday my homies and homettes! I know! I know! I know! I know! I know!… We all need a Sunday like we all need a bullet hole in our heads. Not to make you feel envious, jealous or none of that shit, but tomorrow, Monday, I’m off from the salt mine. Yeap, that’s right, I’m off from the salt mine. WOO-HOO! WHY! you asked? Because Monday November 12, 2018 we celebrate veteran’s day here in The U.S.A. As a matter of fact, a couple of weeks ago, when the dental surgeon and I scheduled my appointment for this past Friday, I really didn’t know shit about the up coming holiday. But in the end, it all worked out for the best.

As for the pain after the FIVE molars were extracted on Friday and even after getting a few stitches, the pain has been so minimal, that I was able to go shopping with my wife and daughter on Saturday, and I also have been able to eat anything and everything with no problems, that’s how good I’ve been feeling. I was also happy, because after the procedure, the surgeon advised me, that when it comes to the dental implants, I’m good to go. What I mean by that is, that I won’t be needing any bone graphs, before I get the implants next year. I’ll have to wait until January 1, 2019, because that’s the date when both my employer-provided dental insurance and flexible spending account (FSA) start fresh for the new year. Not to scare the living shit out of my loyal 1.5 readers, but implants are way fucking expensive, but as I learned, they require little maintenance and this is one of the biggest differences between them and dental bridges. Also, high quality implants can last a lifetime. But crowns and bridges will have to be replaced every 10 to 15 years. Tell me about it, my one and only crown, lasted for some years, but in the end, it had to replaced with a fixed bridge. Don’t worry my homies and homettes, I’ll keep you posted.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!