Karma Is Bullshit

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I used to believe in Karma, but for a while now, I’ve noticed that the whole thing is plain and simple bullshit. I’ve seen a lot of people, who for one reason or another, choose to live a fucked-up life, then when all their shit starts to catch up with them, people say that it’s Karma… not it’s not. It’s just that their bullshit, finally caught up with them.

Hey look, I’m not perfect, but as an adult, there shouldn’t be a need, for others to tell me that I’m fucking-up all the time. Just like the person before and after me, I will make many mistakes in life, but if I keep making the same mistakes over and over again, then I’m just being a stupid asshole and that shit will eventually catch up with me. Call it whatever the fuck you want, but don’t call it Karma.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 Y’all!

Evidence Of My Last Binge

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First things first my homies and homettes! Wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. Enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what goes down.

OK, I must admit, that this shit is fucking funny, yet sad, because even though I have been sober for a little over three weeks, a couple of days ago, my wife was looking for something in my armoire… Why? I don’t know! But she found what I will refer to as, the last evidence of my last weekend binge. OK! OK! OK! OK! OK! I know that by now, my loyal 1.5 readers, might be asking themselves. What the fuck was an empty bottle of beer doing in your armoire Tony? I have to say, that is a good and legitimate question. So here I go.

You see, my wife doesn’t have a problem with me drinking per se, since I only drink on the weekends and at home. But the problem is, that as soon as I have the first beer, all bets are off, because I will start drinking none stop, from Friday evening, all the way to Sunday night. So, since she doesn’t want me drinking on Sundays, I’ll look for any stupid excuse, to go out to the grocery store and buy a couple of beers. The thing is, that I can’t put them in the refrigerator, because she always finds them there and pour them down the drain. So, what are the best places for an alcoholic like me, to hide his beers from his wife? Drum roll please! Armoires, closets, nightstands and laundry hampers. Hey look, don’t laugh, it really took me many, many, many years, many trials an error and a lot of hard work, for me to perfect my hiding skills and eventually, become a professional at hiding alcohol all over the apartment from my wife. Don’t worry my alcoholic brothers and sisters, my book “Agent Double O Alky: How to kill your liver quietly” will be available on Amazon very soon. If you provide your alky card, you will receive a discount on your purchase, so you can buy alcohol with the saved money.

Peace out, and with that said! I am Audi 5000 Y’all!

Why I Don’t Get Involved

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First things first my homies and homettes! Wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. Enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what goes down.

For those of my loyal 1.5 readers that might not know by now, I have always been the baby of the family, because I have six sister who are older than me, but no brothers. One thing that I did learn at an early age was, that no matter how much I love them, I should not to get involved in their lives. By that, I mean their personal, love and family lives. I’ve always said, that I don’t get involved in other people’s lives, so they won’t get involved in mine. Even when family, friends and co-workers have asked me for advise, I stay away from that shit, because in the future, if something goes wrong, I don’t want no fucking body, pointing their fucking finger at me and saying… that’s the bad guy.

People who know me well, know that if they are looking for advise or an opinion, I’m the wrong person to come to. Don’t get me wrong, I’m an excellent listener, it’s just that I don’t get involved in other people’s shit. Thinking about it now, there are exceptions to my rule, they are my wife and our two kids, but only if they ask for my advise or opinion, other than that, I stay quiet, because all three of them are adults, who know what is right and what is wrong. So, I refuse to nag them to death.

Peace out, and with that said! I am Audi 5000 Y’all!

My Friend James

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My friend James in 2018.

First things first my homies and homettes! Wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. Enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what goes down.

Based on what my older sister told me, James moved into our block with his wife and kids back in the 80’s, soon after, he became a drug addict. I really don’t remember, because back then, I was a teenager who used to be hanging out with his friends all the time, so I didn’t put much attention as to who moved in or out of our block. I do remember getting to know him back in the 90’s. But even though he is a long-time homeless drug addict, I’ve always seen and treated him as a human being.

I remember that back then, we used to have long conversations. He used to tell me how he had his CDL (Commercial Driver’s License) and how he used to have good paying jobs driving big rigs. A couple of times, he even told me, how he was going to get clean, get his license back and move in with family in upstate New York. Another couple of times, he told me how he was trying to get clean and how he hadn’t used drugs for a couple of days. I always told him, that I was happy for him. But sadly, he went back.

You see, for the last couple of years, I’ve seen how age and long-time drug addiction, have taken a toll on James health. He used to be an energetic fast-talker, full of ideas. Now, he barely speaks and walks very slowly. Just like any other day, he asked me for a dollar and as I gave it to him, I asked him if I could take the above picture, because we have been friends for so long, yet I didn’t have a single picture of him. I also told him, that I have a blog and I wanted to do a post about him. He happily agreed.

You see, I know that this might sound crazy to some people, but for a while now, I’ve been thinking about sitting down with my friend James, so he can tell me his story. But I really don’t know what has been stopping me from doing it. I guess that since I’m not a reporter, I don’t know how to go about it. But the more I think about it, the more I want to do it. Who knows, I might wait for the temperature to get warmer and ask him to sit down with me, so I can hear his story.

Peace out my homies and homettes!

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

A Blog About NOTHING!

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First things first my homies and homettes! Wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. Enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what goes down.

To be honest with my loyal 1.5 readers, I really can’t remember when the hell, did I ever got into blogging… even if my life depended on it. Many years ago, I did start a whole bunch of crazy websites and blogs about different niches, but I never took them seriously, because I was just bored and didn’t have nothing better to do. The one thing that I do remember clearly was, that I wanted to imitate successful bloggers, especially the ones that I saw being interviewed on TV. And I sure don’t have to tell you how that turned out.

Well, many years of fucking around and wasting my time with my own stupid websites and blogs, I came to understand, that just like in real life, I had to be myself and come up with something that I liked and felt comfortable with. You know, my own personal space, where I could say and post whatever the fuck I wanted to, whenever the fuck I wanted to and use any language that I fucking wanted to… Alright, alright, alright, as long as I was only posting shit about me and not posting shit about others, I was going to be OK. Then Voilà! I came up with this crazy, insane, boring and weird blog of mine. I like to say that this is where I can get my intrusive thoughts, racing thoughts and other crazy shits out of my head and on to something. In other words, I use this blog as a kind of therapy, to be able to let some steam out by posting about anything and everything. Hence, a blog about NOTHING!

Peace out my homies and homettes!

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Dead Presidents

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First things first my homies and homettes! Wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. Enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what goes down.

Also, don’t even think that I forgot… HAPPY MONDAAAAAY! WOO-HOO!… OK! OK! OK! OK! my peeps, I don’t like Mondays per se, but I don’t hate them like I used to anymore. Why? Because I’m grateful that I have my wife. I’m grateful that I have my kids. I’m grateful that I have my crazy dog (my baby). I’m grateful that I have a job, but most importantly, I’m grateful that I’m alive.

On a weekend note! Today is the last day of my three-day weekend. Yes, today I’m off from the salt mines, because they are celebrating president’s day. Do I give a fuck about any president? FUCK NO! All that I care about is just getting a paid holiday. Other than that, all the presidents can go fuck themselves. What I’m trying to say here is, that I’m not into politics. As a matter of fact, there are three subjects that I don’t talk or blog about, and they are politics, religion and sports. The way that I personally see them is, that they are a waste of my time, patience and saliva. So I always avoid them.

Peace out my homies and homettes!

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Why 1.5 Loyal Readers?

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First things first my homies and homettes! Wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. Enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what goes down.

Where the fuck did you get the 1.5 from Tony? Well my loyal readers, if you were able to get a peek into how my crazy, insane, strange, boring and weird brain works, then you would be able to see, that I am not an “average” or “normal” person or if you want to even go as far as calling me a “blogger”, I’ll take that and run with it. So, a lot of crazy shit and nonsense keep popping into my brain all the time. What do I do with them? I have to write them down quick, before my mind moves on to the next great disturbing thought.

So, for some unexplainable and unknown reason, the way that I look at it is, that out of all the people who visit this crazy, insane, strange, boring and weird blog of mine, the only two people who ACTUALLY read my posts from beginning to end, is one really tall motherfucker and one really short motherfucker. So if you do the math, it would look something like this. 1 A really tall motherfucker + .5 A really short motherfucker = 1.5 loyal readers. There I said it!… The cat is finally out of the litter box!

Peace out my homies and homettes!

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!