My New Crazy Idea

Good morning, happy Friday and happy Juneteenth National Independence Day.

My crazy mind is always working on some crazy idea. Sometimes I’ll go with it, and sometimes I don’t, but my two biggest problems are getting it started and or completing it.

So, for a while now, the idea that has been running through my crazy mind, and driving me crazy is, that instead of writing blog post, I should create unedited videos, upload them to YouTube, and publish them as unlisted, so I can only share them, with the few fellow crazies, that actually read all the boring and crazy shit that I post here.

My reason for the idea is, that people can put a face and a voice, on The Crazy Man On Crazy Meds. But not only that, but my Harm OCD won’t drive me crazy, when it comes to writing, but specifically the editing part. Because anybody and everybody who suffer from any type of OCD, knows how fucking frosted is when our brain gets fucking stuck on something so stupid, as editing a word or a sentence, for five fucking minutes.

I don’t know what I’m doing

Good morning and happy Friday to the few crazies who dare to follow and actually read, this boring and crazy blog of mine. To get to the point… even though I see my shrink once a month and I take my crazy meds every day, my mind keeps playing tricks on me, and that is the reason, why I keep changing the direction that I take, every time that I start a new project. Example? This crazy blog of mine.

I just wish, that there would be a way, that I can start something from the ground, and finally complete it, without hesitation or second thoughts. The shit is, that having to deal with family, work, my Harm OCD’s violent intrusive thoughts and images, my Bipolar II’s racing thoughts, Anxiety, Depression and Generalized Anxiety Disorder on a daily basis, is not easy. The crazy meds, talk therapy and constant reminding myself that “I got this”, does not always work. On the outside, I might look like if I have everything under control, when in reality, in my inside, everything is fucking falling apart.

But that’s just the reality of being born with mental health disorders. In my mid 30’s I decided to get help, because I couldn’t take it anymore, but that was just the beginning, because I was able to understand, and sometime later, accept that it wasn’t all in my mind and that I wasn’t crazy.