Just Jump In Front Of A Train!


What up! What up! What up! What up y’all! Happy Tuesday and I hope that wherever you are, you are having a great morning, afternoon, evening or night. Enjoy it to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens. Always keep it really real my peeps. On a sober note… Today marks my eight sober day and I feel fucking great. Last weekend was my first sober weekend in a while and I’m begging for more like it.

On another intrusive and violent OCD thought Note? Every time that I wait for the train to get to work and back home, I like to stay away from the platform edge. You see, the thing is, that sometimes I get these intrusive thoughts about jumping in front of an arriving train and getting hit. I can really see myself going through with it. It’s really fucked up, but that’s the reality of my OCD. Sometimes it gets so real, that my anxiety level goes all the way up to the top. The intrusive and violent thoughts are the only thing about my OCD, that I haven’t been able to even partially control. To be honest with you, I hate them to death, but the only thing that I can do to try to stop them is, to distract myself by doing or thinking about something else. They are just like uninvited guests, they just pop up in my mind whenever they want to and they also want to leave whenever they want to. They are just like that pesty family member of yours, that extends his/her welcome in your home.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

I’m Back On Risperidone

TTV - Crazy Meds - 2.jpg

Good morning and happy Monday y’all! I know exactly what you might be thinking right about now. What the fuck can possibly be so fucking happy about a Monday Tony? Hey!… at least we are alive. That’s what really counts. Like always, I hope that you are having a great morning, noon, evening or night depending on where you find yourself at this moment in time in this crazy planet of ours. Also, don’t forget to enjoy your day to the fullest and pleasedo not let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens.

On a crazy med note! Last Wednesday April 11, I had another session with my excellent shrink Dr. C. As usual, he asked about my bipolar mood and OCD intrusive thoughts, at which time I told him that nothing has changed. You see, Prozac has only helped me with my depression and anxiety, but not my intrusive thoughts. But that’s another post. So to make sure that I don’t experience any mood swings, which I have in the past, we decided that I will go back on Risperidone, The thing is, that I used to take it twice a day, and when I took my second dose while at work, I would get really drowsy and sometimes even fall asleep at my desk. So this time, we decided that I will only take 2 mg at night. The truth is, that I really like taking the Risperidone at night, because together with the Ambien, I feel that I get more sleep.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!