What’s New?

First things first my peeps! Today is my twenty-third sober day and like always… I feel like Tony the fucking tiger… GRRREAT! No anxiety, depression or hangover whats so ever. Because of that, I have gone back to doing something that I really enjoy… and that is reading. Believe or not, when I don’t drink alcohol for a while, since I have a lot of time on my hands and since I feel good health wise, I enjoy reading an interesting book from time to time. Surprised? Don’t worry, when I stayed sober for a while before, my wife and kids were also surprised, to see me reading a couple of books in just one month. They’ve never seen me reading anything before… well except for newspapers, letters and menus.

On another note! I don’t know if you’ve noticed by now, that last week I decided to change my blog’s name from “A crazy GUY with a blog” to “A crazy MAN with a blog”. Why you might ask? Well, I felt that the word “guy” was kind of like childish, compared to the word “man”. So I checked and the new domain name was available, so I bought it. Don’t worry about it, my crazy and insane blog posts are still going to be the same. What I’m trying to say is, that only because the blog name changed, absolutely nothing’s going to change. I’m still the same old crazy guy… or better yet, crazy man who I have always been.

With that Said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!


I Feel Good!… So Good!


This past weekend was my third sober weekend in a long ass time, and like always, I feel like Tony the tiger… GRRREAT! To be honest, I did have a few times when I had stupid thinking, when I felt like just having a few beers. But then I came to my senses and asked myself. WHY? I mean, throughout these three sober weekends, I have been feeling great, with no anxiety, depression or hangover. Don’t get me wrong, because while I was shopping with my wife on Saturday, I saw a couple of people buying cases of beer, and that was one of the times, when I thought about getting a case for myself. But then it hit me and I asked myself. Do I want to feel like shit, the next day?

Even my father in law, who is staying with us and my friends who were playing poker, asked me if I wanted to have a couple of beers, since they were drinking. My answer was no. The reality of it all is, that I really don’t know how long I want to stay sober. In other words, I didn’t make a plan, set a goal or even a date, as to when I’m going to drink again. Right now, I’m just enjoying the way that I feel without drinking. I also have to mention, that I don’t drink on regular weekdays, my problem is that I binge drink on the weekends. So for now, I’m just staying away from alcohol and enjoying my sober weekends to the fullest.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Coming To Terms With My OCD

For as far back as I can remember, I have suffered from Pure-O OCD (Purely Obsessional Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder). Throughout the years, I have tried many crazy meds, but only one of them actually helped with the intrusive thoughts, but that was only for a few days. My current shrink has tried numerous combinations of crazy meds, but to be honest with you, nothing has worked for me. When I got psychiatric help for the first time, I thought that I was going to be prescribed a magic pill, that was going to take all of the symptoms away. In the back of my mind, I thought that somehow, I was going to be just like everyone else… “normal”. For years and years, I thought that one day, my shrinks were going to find the right combination of crazy meds… or better yet, a cure.

To be honest with you, I still hate the fact that I suffer from Pure-O OCD, specially the shameful and ugly intrusive thoughts that keep popping up in my mind for no reason at all. I hate having to fight them off on a daily basis. I hate thinking and visualizing bad things about the people who I love so much. After dealing with it my entire life, I have come to understand, that for the rest of my life, I will be dealing with my OCD. Don’t get me wrong, they might come up with better and improved crazy meds, but the reality of it all is, that I can’t wish it or make it go away no matter how hard I try. You see, the thing is, that no matter what my OCD does to me mentally, I am me and not the other way around.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Low Sex Drive

For those of you who might not know, I suffer from Bipolar disorder II, OCD and social anxiety disorder. The point being is, that I have been on crazy meds for more than ten years. The truth of the matter is, that I was afraid of going off of the crazy meds for many reasons, one is being depressed again and two, my OCD getting worst again. You have to understand that even though SSRI’s have many side effects, it doesn’t mean that users will experience all of them or better yet, some of them. I have to say, that when I started the crazy meds, I did experience some side effects that went away within a few weeks, but there was one that didn’t.

The one side effect that never went away was low sex drive. Actually, I didn’t put my finger on the problem, until a few months ago. Don’t get me wrong, antidepressants have worked wonders for me when it came to depression, OCD and Social Anxiety Disorder, but it all came at a high price. You have to understand, that I am 48 years old and I don’t have an erection problem, it’s just that my sex drive was lower than what it was before I went on antidepressants. So what did I do? I decided to go off of the med without telling my shrink. I haven’t seen any change yet, but I know for a fact, that it will take a few weeks for the med to get out of my system completely. Fingers crossed and I am looking forward, for my sex drive to get back to normal again.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!