Chilling Like A Villain

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Good morning and TGIF y’all! Like always, I hope that you are having a great Friday morning, noon, evening or night depending on where you find yourself at this moment in time in this crazy planet of ours. Also, don’t forget to enjoy your day to the fullest and please, do not let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens. As for work, I will be taking it easy in a way, because I will only be processing electronic payments that we have received from the government on behalf of our customers. Plus I won’t be on the phone, which is the only thing I don’t like about my job. But hey! It still pays the bills… Right!?

On a weekend note! Since I already drank last weekend, this weekend I am planning on just doing what I usually do on my weekends off from work, which is do some errands with my wife, walk my lovable dog Nino twice a day, eat, watch TV, chat with my online friends, maybe listen to some old school House music and deal with whatever my wife and kids throw at me or comes up unexpectedly. The one thing that you can be 100% sure about this weekend is, that I won’t be drinking any alcohol. As I’ve mentioned before, I have been staying sober for longer periods of time, because I don’t want to go back to binge drinking every weekend, the way that I used to do before. Plus my wife is happier when I don’t drink. In other words, I’ll be chilling like a villain this weekend.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

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I’m Back On Risperidone

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Good morning and happy Monday y’all! I know exactly what you might be thinking right about now. What the fuck can possibly be so fucking happy about a Monday Tony? Hey!… at least we are alive. That’s what really counts. Like always, I hope that you are having a great morning, noon, evening or night depending on where you find yourself at this moment in time in this crazy planet of ours. Also, don’t forget to enjoy your day to the fullest and pleasedo not let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens.

On a crazy med note! Last Wednesday April 11, I had another session with my excellent shrink Dr. C. As usual, he asked about my bipolar mood and OCD intrusive thoughts, at which time I told him that nothing has changed. You see, Prozac has only helped me with my depression and anxiety, but not my intrusive thoughts. But that’s another post. So to make sure that I don’t experience any mood swings, which I have in the past, we decided that I will go back on Risperidone, The thing is, that I used to take it twice a day, and when I took my second dose while at work, I would get really drowsy and sometimes even fall asleep at my desk. So this time, we decided that I will only take 2 mg at night. The truth is, that I really like taking the Risperidone at night, because together with the Ambien, I feel that I get more sleep.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Don’t Listen To The Fucking Noise

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Good morning and happy Sunday y’all! I know! I know! I know! I know! I know! You need Sundays like you need a hole in your head… Right? Hey! Just look at the bright side… we get to do it all over again! So if you fucked up big time yesterday, you get another chance to clean up your shit today and try it again. Woo! Hoo!… Like always, I hope that you are having a great morning, noon, evening or night depending on where you find yourself at this moment in time in this crazy planet of ours. Also, don’t forget to enjoy your day to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you, no matter what happens.

On a mental health note! I personally feel that telling someone who is suffering from a mental illness to just get over it, is like telling someone in a wheelchair, that they are just too lazy to get up and walk. It just fucking irritates the shit out of me. Another thing that really bothers me is, when I hear someone say that people don’t need a shrink or even crazy meds to deal with their mental illness. They just have to face life the same way that everyone else is doing it. Now who the fuck died and made that asshole a doctor? Hey look! Only because I can’t feel someone else’s pain, doesn’t mean that they are not in pain. And only because I feel healthy, doesn’t mean that someone else is not sick. My point?  Fuck whatever negative shit others say about your mental health. Only you, your shrink and or other mental health care provider, know what’s really good for you and what will help you in the long run. So please… stop listening to all that fucking noise!

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Living In Da Hood

First things first!… TGIF my peeps! Like always, I hope that you are having a great morning, noon, evening or night depending on where you find yourself at this moment in time in this crazy planet of ours. Also, don’t forget to enjoy your day to the fullest and please… do not! I repeat!… do not!… let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens.

On a neighborhood note! For forty years out of my forty-eight years of life, I have called the neighborhood of Washington Heights, in the northern part of the island of Manhattan my home. I’m not going to lie and say that it is considered a rich or even middle class neighborhood, because it’s not. One of the few things that really bothers me about my hood is, seeing people who are living off of the government, yet they sell their bodies, drugs or both, in order to be able to afford expensive items like a leased luxury car, big screen televisions, jewelry and expensive brand name clothes. I mean don’t get me wrong, whatever they do with their lives is their business. The shit that really gets to me is when they try to show off in front of me, like if I don’t know where the fuck they are getting their money from. The thing is, that I hate them fucking people, because the majority of the time, all of the people who lives in the hood, are measured with the same ruler by society. It doesn’t matter if they are hardworking, responsible and respectful people like myself. Which is really fucked up!

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Back On My Crazy Med

Good morning and happy Thursday y’all! I know! I know! I know! I know! I know! We still have one more fucking day to go Tony. Guess what? FUCK IT! At least, we should all be glad that at we made it this far. So do me a big favor and turn that stupid looking frown upside down… pleeeeease! And as always, I hope that you are having a good morning, good day or good night, depending on where you are in this crazy planet of ours. But most importantly, remember to enjoy your day to the fullest and DO NOT!… I repeat… DO NOT! let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens or goes on.

On another note! A couple of months ago, I went off of Prozac, just to see if I really needed the crazy med. And by the way, that is something that I do not suggest my loyal 1.5 readers do without first consulting with their shrink. The whole thing is, that it really sucked. I mean, at the same time I was going through some personal problems at home and shit. But I can tell you, that I was waking up all fucked up and depressed in the morning. Sometimes I would feel better as the day dragged on, but it really sucked. After seeing my shrink a few weeks ago, I decided to go back on a low dosage of Prozac, but I eventually upped my dosage to the original amount that I used to be on, which is 80mg a day. I have to say, that I don’t feel depressed in the morning anymore and I do feel way, way better. In other words, do not fuck around with your crazy meds, unless your shrink gives you the OK to do it. What did I get out my little shitty experiment? A few weeks feeling like shit!

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

My Insanity At Its Best

Good morning and happy hump day y’all! I just hope that you are having a great morning, day or night, it all depends in what part of our beautiful planet you are in right now. And like always, enjoy your day to the fullest and don’t let nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens. Always remember that saying good morning, good afternoon and good night won’t kill you. Trust me, when I was a kid, my shyness used to make me think and feel like that.

On another note! If you are having a rough morning, day or night, just keep ME in mind. Why? Because everyday, as soon as I wake up and I open my eyes  my problems start. Why? Because my Bipolar II disorder, OCD and social anxiety disorder kick into high gear. My multiple mental disorders are not something that I can turn on and off at will, and they are not something that will go away with talk therapy and or crazy meds. Like it or not, the reality of it all is that they are part of me. I’m not saying that they are me or that they dictate who I am as a husband, father, brother, uncle, friend, neighbor, coworker and man. What I’m saying is, that I’m not ashamed of them and I  acknowledge every single one of them, but they will never make me who I am as a person. As a matter of fact, throughout the years, they have helped and taught me how to be a more compassionate and understanding human being. Instead of making me a crazy, insane and out of control monster, I really appreciate that they have actually made me a better person. One last thing though… don’t feel sorry for me, because I sure don’t.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!