OCD: Wire Attached To Me

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What up! What up! What up! What up y’all! I just hope that wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, you are having a good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. As always, enjoy your Thursday to the fullest and try to have some fun while you are at it.

On another OCD note! Just yesterday, I was reading a blog post by blogger oryx1993 at her blog titled “The Easy Kill”. It’s funny, because she wrote “I used to act like there was a wire attached to me and retrace my steps in order to not get it tangled. I knew it was irrational, but it made me feel less anxious if I took the exact same route back as i had taken to get somewhere”. You see, the thing is, that for the first time in my whole life, someone who suffers from OCD, mentions something that I used to do when I was a kid suffering from OCD. I used to do the same exact thing as she did. Even though I consider everyone’s OCD to be different, we still share similarities when it comes to obsessions, compulsions and rituals. In a way, it is really comforting, because I have come to realize, that I am not going crazy, but specially, that I am not alone in my fight. It really does help to communicate with others who are dealing with OCD. Not because they are also suffering, but because I can relate to them.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

I Felt Like Shit

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What up! What up! What up! What up y’all! Wherever you are in this crazy planet of ours, I just hope that you have a good morning, good afternoon, good evening or good night. As always, enjoy your Monday to the fullest and don’t let nothing or nobody fuck it up for you no matter what happens. On a drinking side of things, today marks my twenty-first day without alcohol and I feel good. Did I feel like drinking this past weekend? I’m not going to lie to you… Yes I did! But what matters the most is, that I didn’t.

On a feeling like shit note! This past Saturday evening something personal happened that no matter how much I tried, I felt like shit. You see, that’s the whole thing about life, that we don’t have control over what others do, think or say. I know that I shouldn’t let nobody fuck up my day, no matter what happens, but that’s not how real life works. I will always have my good days, better days and excellent days. But just that same way, I will have my bad days, worst days and really fucked up days. I just have to deal with them as they come. The one thing that I can tell you is, that unlike some people, I don’t go around blaming my disorders, for every little shit that goes wrong in my life. I’m forty-eights years old and I know better.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

Don’t Believe The Hype About Crazy Meds

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What up! What up! What up! What up y’all! I Just hope that wherever you are right now in this crazy planet of ours, you are having a great morning, afternoon, evening or night. Enjoy your Wednesday to the fullest and don’t let absolutely nobody or nothing, fuck it up for you, no matter what happens. Now!... On my drinking side of things, today is my sixteenth alcohol free day and I feel like Tony the fucking tiger… GRRRRREAT!

On a crazy meds note! I remember, that around thirteen years ago, when I started taking crazy meds for the first time, as soon as I got the meds from my drug dealer (Pharmacist), I would go online to learn about them, but most importantly, to find out about the possible side effects and to read what others had experienced while on them and what were their thoughts. The thing was, that with the online over-saturation of information about crazy meds, I used to get worked up over absolutely nothing. I remember that just a few minutes after taking my first dose, I would start feeling weird, when in reality, it took about a week or so, before I felt something. My point? If you are put on crazy meds, do go ahead and do some research online, just don’t go overboard. Also, don’t believe all the bullshit that you read online, you have to remember that crazy meds affect everyone differently. Plus, if you are giving crazy meds a try, you must have patience and roll with the punches.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

A Crazy Blog About Nothing

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What up! What up! What up! What up y’all! I Just hope that wherever you are right now, you are having a great morning, afternoon, evening or night. As always, enjoy your Tuesday to the fullest and don’t let nobody, and I mean absolutely nobody, fuck it up for you, no matter what happens. I really have to add, that today is my fifteenth alcohol free day. Do you know what that means? That I just need fifteen more days to be alcohol free for one entire month. Woo! Hoo! Fingers crossed.

On a crazy blogger note! Maybe, just maybe .5 out of my loyal 1.5 readers might ask. What the hell does this guy gets out of blogging about his mental health? Welll! To be honest with you, I use this crazy blog of mine as a kind of therapy. To me, this is a place where I can express my thoughts and ideas as they come to me. A place where I could meet others who are similar to me. A place where I can open up about my struggles with my many demons. I look at this blog as a place, where I can get all the bat shit crazy thoughts out of my head and on to something. Why do I do it? Because for thirty-five years, I suffered quietly. Because for thirty-five years, I was afraid to ask for help. Because for thirty-five years, my life was just a facade. The thing is, that I just got tired of all that bullshit going on in my mind. I just want to get rid of it somehow and not worry if others see me as a crazy person. Hey look! If others see me as a crazy person because of what I blog about… good!… because living in New York City for close to forty years, has taught me that “normal people” stay away from crazy people. I always keep in mind, that whatever other people think of me, is none of my business. I just like to throw that out there from time to time.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!

My Adoptive Mother In The Hospital

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What up! What up! What up! What up y’all! I Just hope that wherever you are in this crazy yet funny planet of ours, you are having a great morning, afternoon, evening or night. Enjoy your Sunday to the fullest and don’t let nobody, absolutely nobody, fuck it up for you, no matter what happens. On a drinking side of things, today I celebrate my thirteenth alcohol free day and my second alcohol free weekend and I feel like Tony the fucking tiger… GRRRRREAT! No hangover or none of that bullshit whatsoever..

On a family note! Last Friday while I was at work, I got a call from my wife and she told me that after her mother got home from a minor surgery earlier in the day, she wasn’t feeling well and so an ambulance had to take her to the emergency room. After work, I passed by to see her, but she was still out of it. I didn’t say anything to my wife, who was by her side, but I really felt a little nervous, since my mother in law has been getting dialysis for a couple of months already. Don’t worry my loyal 1.5 readers, one of my sisters in law is compatible with her and so she will be donating a kidney to her in a couple of months. Right now, I am happy to say, that my mother in law mother is still in the hospital, but she is doing much better. She will stay in the hospital for a couple of days, but as long as she is under the care of professionals, I am OK. One more thing, my wife and her mother know that I love my mother in law, as if she was my own mother and I don’t want nothing bad to happen to her… ever.

With that said! I am Audi 5000 y’all!